Temptation Brings Suffering

We often hear people comment on what profound changes came about in our culture, attitudes and behavior when "the pill" first came on the market. They are, of course, referring to the birth control pill. It provided the simplest and least intrusive means of enjoying sexual intercourse without concern for creating new life. With it, society further separated sex from its primary purposes of creating life and creating a bond of love and commitment between a man and a woman.

I suggest that another pill might have had almost as great an influence on our culture, attitudes and behavior. It is the aspirin, which was first marketed in the United States by a German pharmaceutical firm in the early twentieth century. Unlike other pain killers, it had few bad side effects, and in fact, years later it was found to have very beneficial side effects for some people.

We're always better off facing life as it is, and people who face temptation — all of us — are better off if we accept the truth that temptation brings suffering.

Human beings have always wanted to avoid pain. Perhaps this is one of the protective desires that God built into us from the beginning. But something has changed since the creation of aspirin (and other drugs, and air conditioning, and power lawn mowers, etc.). Today we believe we should never have to suffer pain. We've been indoctrinated to believe that any pain, discomfort or suffering that comes our way must be relieved immediately.

On many fronts we have successfully accomplished this. But not everywhere. Consider the matter of temptation. We don't often think of it in this context but temptation brings about suffering. The relationship between temptation and suffering is made clear in Scripture. Hebrews 2:18 tells us that "because [Jesus] Himself has suffered when tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted." Jesus suffered when He was tempted. If Jesus-who had more understanding and greater moral strength than any of us-suffered from His temptations, how could we not suffer from ours?

We are not talking here of pain from the sin that might follow temptation, but the pain that comes from the temptation itself. Temptation brings inner conflict, it forces self-denial, and it can be a persistent distraction from better things in life. In any area where we have a past of falling into sin, temptation can bring fear. All of this constitutes pain.

Suffering Will Come

So many times I have observed this attitude in men and women overcoming homosexuality and sexual addiction. In fact, I believe that an unwillingness to go through pain is not only a contributing factor to the development of these conditions, but one of the greatest hindrances to overcoming them. A woman may not deal with her past abuse because it is too painful, or she may avoid relationships with men because of the fear of possible further abuse. A boy may be unwilling to risk rejection or humiliation by going out into the world of men, and as a man, he may still be avoiding relationships with heterosexual men for the same reasons. Another man may turn to pornographic images of women instead of consistently engaging in that emotionally vulnerable place of relationship with his wife, or perhaps he has subconsciously avoided coming anywhere close to marriage because he knows it brings the possibility of being deeply hurt.

I suspect that same-sex attracted people and some sexually addicted people have developed a greater than normal determination to avoid pain. If this is so, they may be more unwilling to deal with the pain that accompanies temptation, making them especially susceptible to yielding when temptations come.

By declaring that "It shouldn't be this way" in the face of painful temptations, we venture into the dangerous realm of self-pity. I say dangerous because the typical response to self-pity is self-comforting, and we know what form that takes in many people who struggle sexually: escape into fantasy and masturbation. Implied also in self-pity is the claim that God has been unjust in inflicting such pain on us. This is not a helpful attitude in one who must look to God to bring him or her through their temptation.

In speaking of suffering here, I am not addressing just profound, agonizing pain. Sometimes, in our aspirin using world, it is simply discomfort from which we seek escape. One of my most vulnerable times is when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep. I lie in bed fretting, knowing that a quick dose of fantasy and masturbation would quickly enable me to fall back to sleep.

Accepting Truth, Changing Our Attitudes

First, we need to recognize that temptation is unavoidable. Our temptations are "common to man" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Jesus said to His disciples, "Temptations are sure to come . . . " (Luke 17:1). This does not mean that specific temptations won't go away-I am no longer tempted to have sex with a man-but that temptations in some form will be with us until the Lord comes again.

The second truth is that suffering is necessary for our growth. In an unfallen world this might not have been so, but in the fallen world in which we live it is. Good parents know this intuitively. The "suffering" of a spanking, or time-out, or withheld treat is necessary for children to grow up properly. For those who wish to do well, training for every sport and every profession brings some level of suffering.

The fact that it is necessary for us to endure suffering in order to grow or in order for us be prepared for our role in life comes through clearly (even shockingly so) when we read the following two passages about Jesus in the book of Hebrews: "Although He was a son, He learned obedience through what He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). Hebrews also says that Jesus was "made perfect through suffering" (Hebrews 2:10). The perfect here (telios in Greek) means complete, or able to accomplish the purpose for which He was created. Jesus had to suffer as part of His preparation to become the Savior and Redeemer of the world.

I don't like the suffering that my temptations bring any more than most people do. I have found two possible ways of ending such suffering. I can yield to the temptation, and gain immediate relief, or I can call out to the Lord, the One who can take it from me. The latter usually takes longer than the former, and so I must endure some suffering. But we do have the promise that God will answer our call in such situations:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation He will provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13

Note that God is not promising us freedom from temptation, and the words "beyond our ability" and "endure it" clearly imply that we may have to go through some sort of ordeal before the escape comes.

Accepting that suffering is an inevitable part of temptation will strengthen us to endure it and empower us not to yield to it, but rather, to call on the One who will lead us out of it.