Who Is I? Who Is Me?

I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Romans 7:15

Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.
Romans 7:20

For a long while I found Paul's words in the two passages at the top of this newsletter perplexing.

If I choose to do something, how in the world can I say that I didn't want to do it? Maybe I could say that I had done something I didn't want to do if I were drugged against my will or if someone pointed a gun to my head, but I don't think Paul had situations like these in mind.

And what is this sin that dwells in me if it is not a part of me? Being one who tends to think in concrete terms, I have pictured something like a tapeworm living inside of me, an independent creature living off the food I eat, but not actually a part of me. But somehow, I don't think that this is what Paul had in mind either.

For the believer in Jesus Christ then, the real I is the one who always wants to be obedient and pleasing to the Father. The real me is the one who does not want to do sinful things, but in whom dwells sins that are not really a part of me.

Both passages seem to imply that there are two I's or two me's. I believe this may be what we are supposed to think. Let's explore this further.

Truths in Mystery

I believe those of us whose minds operate much more analytically than intuitively are especially limited in our ability to grasp certain truths. On the other hand, those people who are highly intuitive will know something in their hearts but have difficulty explaining it logically. God knows our varying limitations, and He knows that we come to understand truths in different ways. Because of this, He offers straightforward descriptive truths in the Bible, as well as figurative language such as parables, allegories, similes and metaphors, to illuminate mysteries and to illustrate truths that our limited reasoning capacity could not otherwise grasp.

Such it is with the concept of Christ in us, as in "Christ in you, the hope of glory" (Colossians 1:27). Christ does not reside inside us in bodily form, does He? In fact in that same sentence Paul states that "Christ in you" is a mystery. So we are to accept both that we cannot fully understand this truth and that Jesus does live in the believer. God is making this quite clear. Likewise, Scripture also tells us that the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts (2 Corinthians 1:22).

These passages express a mystery. I believe they also help us to better grasp the two me's and the two I's mentioned earlier. There is the new me in whom Jesus dwells, and there is the other me, the hanger on from my old pre-Christian life. Coming to accept this has helped me gain more victories in my battles with sin, which I'll explain further in a moment.

The earlier view I had of my struggles with sin resembled very much the old cartoon of the man with an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, each whispering in his ear to go in opposite directions. Or sometimes I would see my soul as an empty battlefield on which the army of lust would win sometimes and the army of righteousness would win sometimes. Sanctification, therefore, seemed to me to be the transformation that occurs in us each as righteousness wins more battles than lust.

But these views all but ignore the transformation that occurred within us when we yielded our lives to Jesus, and thus they are not very effective in helping us battle sin today. Ultimately, they leave us relying on our own power and strength.

Let me explain. When we accepted Christ we became new people, we were transformed, and the Holy Spirit took up residence in us-literally. Oswald Chambers goes so far as to say that our sanctification occurs at the moment Christ comes into our hearts: "the holiness of Jesus being made mine manifestly." ¹ For the believer in Jesus Christ then, the real I-or as some would say, "the true self"-is the one who always wants to be obedient and pleasing to the Father. The real me is the one who does not want to do sinful things, but in whom dwells sins that are not really a part of me.

Then who is the other I, the one who does the wrongful things? What is the nature of this sin that is in me but is not a part of me? They are remnants of the old man. They are no longer a part of the true regenerated me. We can look at them as hangers on, as vestiges of the old self that tenaciously resist releasing their grip, but whose days are numbered because "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4).

Grasping these truths helps me combat sin more effectively. Whenever the temptation to lust-or to engage in some other obvious sin-hits me, I try to immediately remind myself that in reality, Jesus is in me, and I don't have to do this thing-that the true me does not even want to do it. This thinking is positive and helpful in a number of ways:

1. It immediately brings to my mind the One who is in me, the One who Himself has conquered all sin-Jesus, the source of all my victories.

2. It helps me to see victory as something I should experience consistently rather than as a random "you win some, you lose some" type of occurrence.

3. It reminds me of my new creaturehood and helps me live out of that new, true self rather than out of the old man who had to battle in his own strength.

4. Being conscious of Jesus in me, I feel more and more like a conqueror, more able to defeat old enemies, whether internal or external.

5. As I see the old tendency to sin as a relic from the past whose days are numbered, I have greater hope for tomorrow.

The next time you feel a strong urge to sin, say to yourself, "I don't want to do that, not the real me, not the one in whom Jesus dwells. Old sin, be gone, you are a part of my past, not my present and not my future.

Who am I? Who are you? We are men and women in whom all the power of God dwells, just waiting to be manifested.