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10 Tips for Parents When Your Kid’s Viewing Porn

Porn – this little word carries a heavy load of shame for some or maybe guilt for others.  What about when you find out your child has been viewing porn?

Our offering for you is today is 10 Tips to help you navigate the path forward when you discover your child has been viewing porn.  

Michelle Dunn – a Regeneration Team member and Therapist – joins Josh on the podcast to help us walk with our kids, not just as moms and dads, but also as allies in the world of sexuality.

Everything we’re talking about on this episode HINGES on the relationship you have with your teen. Our hope is that we can take shame out of the conversation around porn. Don’t let the accusing voices in your head be louder than your child’s voice. Pay attention, a pornography problem is usually a symptom of a deeper problem rather than the core problem itself.

Listen in as Michelle and Josh coach us through adjusting our posture to be less fearful and more approachable.

We pray this episode serves you as a guide so you can have difficult conversations in love and peace.

Highlight:

when somebody’s feeling shame it is not going to make the problem go away. In fact, it will almost draw the individual to the problematic behavior as a way of coping.

It’s helpful for parents to accept reality, adjust your expectations, and not be afraid to be where you are

Get curious. How did we end up here? And again, it’s not for the purpose of shaming. That’s not the reason we want to do it but we want to be curious.

Homework:

10 TIPS FOR PARENTS:
1. ASK FOR HELP for yourself! Reach out to allies, friends, counselors, your pastor, so you can release.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE the current relationship you have with your teen – great trust? Solid bond? Distant?
3. ADDRESS the porn directly.
4. AFFIRM honesty even when it feels like bad news.
5. AVOID shame at all costs.
6. ASK QUESTIONS and teach your kid to get curious too.
7. ADJUST your lifestyle to respond to what you find out.
8. ADDRESS your son or daughters overall health.
9. ASSUME that even kids who want to stop may still struggle.
10. ASK FOR HELP FOR YOUR CHILD

Find a moment of privacy and with confidence directly address your child and the issue – be direct, tell them what you know.

Be Aware: When or where are you tempted to look? What time of day? – the questions create boundaries to help your son or daughter to relieve temptation

Treat the situation like a Fact-finding Mission or a Private investigation – be looking for clues NOT evidence to indict your son or daughter.

If you and your child discover there’s a pattern or trigger, what can you adjust together?
Where might your child need to learn to take better care of themselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, schedule?

Resources/Extras:

Genesis 3 God’s invitation into the light – verses 9-13:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” 11 And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” 12 The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

Podcast with Jay Stringer

So many examples in the Bible to see where people felt shame about their condition and watch how Jesus death with it:

  • The woman at the well John 4:4-26
  • The woman caught in adultery John 8:1-11
  • Jesus Anointed by the Sinful Woman in Luke 7:36-50

1 Corinthians 12:12-27 One Body with Many Members

Click for Full Podcast Transcription

Josh 0:00
So we know many parents who have been in a situation something like this, they wake up, middle the night. And maybe they’re going to the bathroom and they notice the this glow from underneath the son or daughter’s bedroom door. And they’re curious because it’s really late, and they walk to their kid’s room and knock on the door, maybe you just open it see how the son or daughter is only to discover that they, they their their kid has been is they’re viewing pornography. And whether it’s that scenario, or finding the family tablet, and seeing that there’s a lot of pornography on the history, or some other way that a parent has finds out that their son or daughter has been viewing pornography, not just they ran into it once, but that it’s become something they’ve been doing. And so in this podcast, we want to offer 10 tips for when you discover that one of your kids has been viewing porn. Michelle Dunn, who’s a member of our team here, and he’s also a licensed clinical professional counselor. She’s got a couple of kids of her own, but she’s also worked with teens, and she’s worked with parents. And she’s really the chief architect of the PG conference that we’ve been doing for years now. That helps equip parents to walk as allies to their kids in the realm of sexuality. So Michelle, glad to be talking to you about this today.

Michelle 1:18
Me too. Thanks for inviting me.

Josh 1:21
It’s a scary thing. We know as we’ve talked to parents, it’s a scary thing. When they find men, I thought this stuff would never get into my house. And yet here it is. tough stuff. So why don’t we just dive in, we’ve got 10 days, 10 days after. So the first one, I think the first one’s probably one of the most counterintuitive. If you’ve just discovered that a son or daughter has been looking pornography, one of the first things you have to do is you have to find you have to ask for help for yourself. We don’t mean going to your son or daughter we mean you pick up the phone, you get in front of you reach out to allies, friends of yours, Pastor, Counselor, somebody or some people who are going to be on your court, those who you can freak out in front of you can rage, you can scream, you can ask questions, too. But you need to get help for yourself. Because it’s an emotional difficult thing to find your kids and wrestling with this. And if you don’t get help for yourself and support for yourself, then you’re going to end up trying to put the burden you’re carrying on your son or daughter’s back. And they’re already caring enough because they’re wrestling with pornography. So make sure you get help for yourself. And that might feel embarrassing to you. But I guarantee you it is one of the most important things you can do so and Yeah, probably said all the we need to say about that. So the show what’s number two,

Michelle 2:40
acknowledge the current relationship that you have with your team? What’s that mean? For you, Tommy,

Josh 2:48
you know, to what it means. It means that, well, I think I put it this way, everything else we’re gonna talk about, we’re gonna get into some deep waters in this brief podcast, but everything else that we’re gonna, we’re gonna offer hinges upon your relationship with your team. And so if these aren’t stickers, you can just kind of, you know, place on top of whatever is happening, like we’re gonna, we have a list of 10 things. But you can’t apply that in the same way to every family and every kid, it really depends on it’s going to be built upon the relationship of your kid. So if you have a, if you’re already struggling with trust issues, your kid, that’s gonna be important factor as you’re trying to walk with them in this area. If you’re if you have a history of of really contention or arguing with your kid, if there’s already, you know, a rift between your kid that’s going to play into this, if there’s great trust with your kid, if you’ve got things you love to do together with your kid, if you if you share a lot in common with your kid, that too is going to be a great factor in some of this. So you have to start with where you are. Now, what else would you say what anything?

Michelle 3:48
Yeah, I think it is. I like what you’re saying it is important to think, because we’re going to talk about the 10 steps. So if the relationship, for example, is contentious, likely the processing of this could also feel that way. It’s not like you’re going to magically have a better experience processing this difficult situation with your team, if other areas of the relationship are already difficult. So even with that, I think it’s helpful for parents to just accept reality, adjust your expectations, and not be afraid to be where you are.

Josh 4:23
Yeah, absolutely. Those those first two serve as a great foundation and they don’t stop once you start having conversation. So the next one, the third tip, is to address the porn use directly. So there comes a time as you’ve kind of gathered yourself gotten used to yourself some help assessed a sense of like, Where am I with my kid, where you just need to tell them that you know what’s going on. And this isn’t an accusation. This isn’t, you know, you you come in with the gavel. But Don’t sneak around or beat around the bush about this. Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to I think so many parents paint themselves into a corner and they really end up kind of tricking their kids by saying Hey, so anything you’ve been struggling with recently or anything you want to talk about? And the kid says no. And then now the parents in this now they’re in a tight spot, do they say, Well, actually, I know that there has been something, which is, you know, then they’ve, they’ve been trapped to their kid. Or the other way is they say, well, gosh, no, I can’t bring it up. So just go to your kid directly, and just say, you know, in private with confidence, say, you know, john, I need to talk to you about something. And can we just take a moment of privacy? Hey, I was I picked up the family iPad the other day after you’ve been using it, and I saw it even looking at pornography? Can we talk about that? Just be direct about it, tell them what you know, again, in the same way, don’t don’t like if you know, they’ve been looking at it for three months. Don’t ask them how long you say, if you do ask them, you say, you know, I know the history went back three months. But when did it start? You know, you might do that. But but don’t, don’t, don’t Don’t, don’t give them an opportunity to lie to you. Because so often they’re afraid or ashamed. It’s it’s like a knee jerk response and a great response, but a knee jerk response, just to not be truthful. So and then the next one. And this, I think connects with this is to affirm honesty. So Michelle, what do we mean by that?

Michelle 6:12
Yeah. I mean, we like you said, we don’t want to trick trick our kids, we don’t want them to feel backed into a corner necessarily. And we also just want to make it clear, like, what’s going on, we’re just going to get it all out in the light. I’m not looking for you to tell me you’re perfect. I know, there’s a problem. I’ve seen evidence of the problem. So can you tell me about that, we kind of want to take the sting out of that a little bit. And so it in that moment, it does feel as much as possible safe for our kids to be honest. And we want to when they do choose to be honest, we don’t want to react to maybe the bad news of the honesty, but we want to say thank you for telling me this, thank you. And we want to lean into that so that it feels like a safe place for them.

Josh 7:03
And let me I just want to repeat that if we cannot say it enough, you heard correctly. Thank your kids, for telling you the news you did not want to hear thank your kids for being honest with you, when they told you what they’d been doing is what you told them never to do. Like you were doing that you create such a safety for them. And you invite them to share more in, in contrast to that, when we respond with a react to our kids confession or honesty, by getting angry or upset or telling them how gross it is or how they should be shamed themselves or, you know, yada, yada, yada. What we do is we tell them one, don’t talk to me about this again. Because if you do this, what I’m gonna do when you talk to me, and we don’t want to communicate that to them. And two equally importantly, we also tell them, and if there’s anything else you haven’t told me, don’t tell me. And that is not where we want our kids, the light is our kids friend, even maybe even more than we are in this journey. We want our kids to learn to come to the light. And I think Jesus is our model here. I mean, you know that he, he invites us to come to light. Look at Genesis three, when Adam and Eve sinned, God comes looking ask them where they are. And it’s not because he doesn’t know he’s asking them to come into the light. And I think that’s a beautiful, beautiful expression of where God is. And we want to join joining that. And we also know from experience that confession is powerful. I mean, it has a powerful ability to to, to reduce the the temptation to return to sin doesn’t guarantee it, but it helps to reduce the temptation, and also helps to reduce shame, which leads us to the next tip. So we’re at number 510, which is avoid shame at all costs. Michelle, talk to us about that.

Michelle 8:52
And this is a bear this one right here. Because I think for a parent who has just discovered this, they’re going the parent is going to feel a lot of fear. And so it’s quite possible for the parent to be emotionally reactive to the situation and to the child. And out of that emotional reaction can be shame and fear. And that’s it that we are inadvertently putting onto our kids or maybe even intentionally if we think that’ll solve the problem. But the problem is they just actually feed the problem, they make it worse. And so when our kids or any of us actually are when somebody is feeling shame, it is not going to make the problem go away. In fact, it will almost draw the individual to the problematic behavior as a way of coping with that feeling.

Josh 9:46
No, that’s exactly right. And I’d actually go further to say that, that it is I wouldn’t say universal but it if there is one common experience for those who have become addicted to pornography, it is shame that that often using pornography is is a is the flushes faulty attempt at trying to somehow resolve deep undealt with shame in a person’s life. And so, so just to add shame to that, to this problem, it is yeah, it’s just gonna compound the problem. And this goes for parents too. I mean, I think a lot of parents when they discover that their kids struggling something like pornography or other sexual sins. I think sometimes parents feel shame. They hear the accusing voices like, Oh, I should have done better. I didn’t talk enough. I went to that PG conference that regeneration did and I didn’t apply the things or, or I you know, it’s my fault, Bumble. Those are shaming voices for the parent. And so we want to avoid shame for ourselves, too. And this goes back to what I was saying a minute ago. I think that confession coming in is one of the reason I love Christianity. 20s I love Jesus. Jesus does not want us he does not come to shame us. He comes to save us. And so we come with honest confession, we admit the things we’ve done wrong. Shame is not the same thing as guilt. We come with our guilt, we say I’m guilty, this is what I did. And the good news that of Christ is crucifixion resurrection is that we can be forgiven, we can have our our slate wiped clean, he makes us a new creature. I mean, there are so many examples in the gospels that are so many pointed examples in the Gospel of places where people felt so much shame about their condition. And Jesus dealt with it. I think about Simon beginning of Luke, he falls down in the boat, you know, Lord leave me I’m a sinful man. He’s experiencing shame. And Jesus says, I want you to follow me and make you a fisher of men. I think about the woman at the well, who was a little bit dishonest with Jesus. And he he named her stuff but loved her about the woman who was caught in adultery. I think about the woman in Luke seven who fell at Jesus feet. I mean, you know, so many examples of people who felt shame in Jesus response to that wasn’t to cast them away. It wasn’t to say, yeah, you should feel shame. But to but to help relieve their shame by loving them in it. So ya know, Enough said about that may probably we could do several podcasts about maybe we should come back to that. But Alright, so we’re on to number six to 10. Michelle was

Michelle 12:14
for this one, we want to ask a lot of questions and teach our kids to ask questions, too. And so ultimately, what we’re saying is get curious, how did we end up here? And again, it’s not for the purpose of shaming. That’s not the reason we want to do it. But really, we want to be curious, because in the in the getting curious, we’re able to figure out what are the other problems around this, it’s not just Hey, I started looking at pornography. And this is the extent of my problem, there are probably other things that are a part of the picture. And if we want to really get after this and help support our sons or daughters, the way to do this is to understand the story of the problem, not just see the problem for what it is. Um,

Josh 13:02
yeah, beautiful. And I feel like we’re getting there needed help there too. Like that. That’s a hard thing for, for parents to do alone with their kids. But I interrupted

Michelle 13:12
you, oh, no, I was even gonna say that. With that there can be this stage actually can be a really powerful place, if you’re able to put aside and much easier said than done, if you’re able to put aside the big emotions around the topic. And when we say be curious, there have even been times where as I’m working with clients, I’ll say, okay, like, if you were a private investigator, what are the other clues here that we would see, that helped tell us the story and if we can take almost consider it like a rat, a fact finding mission, not for the purpose of exploiting our that our sons or daughters situation, the problem, but really for the fact that taking out the emotion and acknowledging the other circumstances and doing so really in an objective way so we can get the full picture.

Josh 14:10
And I love the distinction. So it’s not a private investigator who’s looking for evidence to indict somebody who’s guilty. That’s not but it is a is a caring, loving, curious, curious ally, who’s saying let’s look for clues about what what got you caught into this stuff and and why it might be continuing. And I’d actually refer to J stringers, the packets we do with Jay stringer. And we can have, we can have a link to that in the show notes. But he does a great job on packing about how to be curious about some of these things. And, and then on a practical level, too, we can think about being curious, just in regards to like, Well, you know, when are you typically tempted to look at this stuff, where you typically tend to look at it? what time of day, because those simple, simple questions can can really begin helping us to create some healthy boundaries to support a son or daughter. So to decrease temptation to those moments so that it just becomes easier for them as they’re, as they’re trying to walk away from this. Again, I think here of Genesis three, instead of blows my mind, it might actually, the God of universe just created this perfect world. It’s very, very good. He gives domain to the first man and the first woman tells him just one thing, this one thing, don’t do this, but everything else you can do. They do the one thing and spoil the whole creation. I mean, it’s not utterly ruined. There’s still beauty. But there’s, I mean, it’s just, it’s dark, and it’s twisted. It’s corrupted, because of their one terrible decision to rebel against God. And when God comes, he doesn’t come saying like white gay, jogo, You rotten wood. He comes with comes with not just one, but he actually the the first four things he says to them when he comes is are all questions, yes for questions. And you can read those for the lens of an angry parent. But if you read them through this kind of lens, if he’s curious, he’s pressing, He’s inviting them to learn more about what’s going on for them. The first question is, where are you? Which I think is, is it this is deeply wonderful question. And then when the Savior of the world when Jesus comes in the book of john, the first thing that john records Jesus saying is also a question. What are you looking for? And I think it’s just a beautiful expression. If I you know, if I was in charge, I was the God of the universe. I don’t think I’d come with questions, or it’s like this. He’s so gracious and good. So, all right, well, so next up here, we want to the next seven out of 10 is adjust your lifestyle adjust things, to respond to what you’ve you found as you’ve been curious. And so like, I was saying, like, you know, if there’s a certain time of day, what might you adjust in your schedule? And if there’s a certain place in the house, what might you adjust to help reduce temptation in that in that place in the house? If there’s a certain device? What might you adjust? And that I’d say get really practical here. The other the other piece about this, though, is as much as you can you want this to be relational and collaborative with your kids. This is not about you saying, Okay, well, if you’re always looking at it, you know, in your bedroom at night, you’re not allowed to have the your phone in your bedroom at night. It has to come to that has to come to that. But preferably, it’s hit. So it sounds like usually at night, when you’re alone in your bedroom. This is where you’re struggling. What might we do about that? Like if you if you were the parent here, what would you say could be done about that? What what might help get your son or daughter involved in process? So Michelle, other other kind of ideas about what can be adjusted or other other ways to respond to the Curiosity piece? In this number seven?

Michelle 17:41
Well, I love the word collaborative, which you use, I think that’s so important, because we want our posture as parents to be experienced where we’re not punishing, this is not punitive, we’re not doing this because you must experience the consequences. No, no, no, no, we want to really collaborate with them so that this can be a constructive relational experience. So again, our kids can come to the light in this situation, but they also know, hey, if I’m in trouble, my mom, my dad, that’s my go to I can go to my parents, when I’m in trouble, even in stuff like this, and they will, they’ve got my back, they’re going to help me figure out the solution to the problem. And so we want to, yeah, not not approach this where we are trying to communicate our displeasure and punishment and consequences, we want to be bigger than that.

Josh 18:38
And, and if you if you need convincing, if you’re listening to going on that show, like, you know, within a few years, your son or daughter’s gonna be out of your house anyway. And so if the only thing that’s kept them away from pornography are the decisions you’ve made, then they’re less equipped to stand on their own, once they leave. If you’re lacking buy in from them, if they seem resistant, then you can expect the problems probably going to flare up when they leave the house. And so this is it’s can be tough ground, especially when they’re resistant. But so we know their decision you have to make for the sake of your household and for the sake of the safety of your kid. So there are times to draw a hard line where even when they don’t want you to that’s a part of a parent’s role. And it’s you know, you don’t win any, you know, awards from them for that, but it’s an important piece, but make it your goal to be collaborative, give them opportunity to invite them in. Michelle, I want to go back though, before we leave number seven, about adjusting lifestyle to go back to something you were saying earlier about in the Curiosity piece about where this stuff began, what was going on under the surface here, because part of it as we as things are uncovered about you know, I typically go to this when I’m feeling anxious, or I’ve been feeling disappointed myself or, or I was curious because, you know, the kids at school are talking about sex. I don’t know how to have sex. I don’t know how to, you know what, what it means to be good and bad and and so I was looking for I was trying To find out and that’s how I started looking, by the way pornography terrible sex educator. So really parents, you got to be the sex educating your house, don’t let porn be two options in this day and age like, either the parents are going to do it, or porn is going to do it. You don’t want porn doing it. But I think the other piece in this regard to making the adjustments is like, Where might your kid need to learn to be better at taking care of themselves emotionally, physically, schedule wise, friendship wise, like pornography, a pornography problem is so much more often a symptom than actually the core problem. And so as you discover some of the deeper things that may be going on, you’re going to find opportunities to help your kids to learn how to be healthier. And if you don’t know how to be healthier in those ways, that’s another reason to get some help. Like, you know, I’m actually very good at managing my emotions. So like, let’s find somebody who can help us to learn how to do that. Like, that’s gonna be a really helpful thing. So Alright, let’s let’s go to number eight. We got one see we’re

Michelle 20:57
now I was just going to underscore Yeah, I said, No, but then I said, Yeah, I wanted to underscore the word you use symptom, I think that can be helpful. And that’s actually linking to number eight. I think if we look at pornography as not just the end problem, but that is also quite possibly a symptom of another problem. Which does segue into number eight.

Josh 21:20
Yeah, yeah. So address yet address your son’s $100. overall health, right? Yeah. Yeah. So Michelle, when you give us you ever PG conferences, talked a little bit about emotional regulation, I know, we don’t have time for you to give that whole talk here. But just share a little bit with our parents about what that is, and how that connects to struggles with pornography.

Michelle 21:43
Well, emotional self regulation, it’s really about the ability to manage one’s emotional state. So it’s how we cope with our emotions and manage our responses to situations that we encounter. And so dysregulation looks like when we don’t have good emotional self regulation dysregulation looks like somebody having an overblown reaction to maybe a smaller challenge or a seemingly small challenge, somebody having low frustration tolerance, or being impulsive temper outbursts, mood fluctuations, that’s what dysregulation looks like. And so that is a that can be a piece of the puzzle in so many ways as it relates to this topic. And in fact, if somebody is struggling with a dysregulation, it’s quite possible that that individual is turning to pornography as a way to self soothe and to feel a sense of internal quiet. And so it can be a an unhelpful coping skill. And unhelpful is a guessing game for this. Um,

Josh 22:47
yeah. Yeah. Good. Thank you for that. And again, that’s, you know, a lot of us in this day and age we’ve we’ve learned to cope with emotion by, by running to distraction. And so this is, it’s almost like a lost art for a lot of people. So, okay, we’re up to number nine. So, so, so far, I’m just going to run back through these, ask for help and support for yourself. Number two, acknowledge your current situation with your team your current relationship. Number three, address the porn use directly when it comes time to do that with your son or daughter. Number four, affirm their honesty, even when it’s feels like bad news to you. Avoid shame at all costs. Six, ask lots of questions. And as we talked about curiosity, number seven, adjust your lifestyle to respond to what you find out from that curiosity. Number eight, address your son or daughter’s overall health. Number nine, Michelle,

Michelle 23:37
well assume that even kids who want to stop viewing porn will still struggle to stop that would actually be the norm. It would not be abnormal. And so having one conversation or maybe setting up some helpful parameters, one time and letting letting it be, that’s not going to be enough for our kids. And if you think about it with any habit, it ultimately takes time to cultivate that. And so it’s just not possible to on a dime, stop that and start a new a new behavior. And so it’s a process I think, we want to assume that it’s not going to happen instantaneously. And we are really signing up for the process of stopping. And we want to figure out what our kids what that looks like to be in the process with them.

Josh 24:25
Yeah, well said. My co author refers to it. He says you can’t he talks about like, you know, some parents who set up filters or blockers on the computer, and they he says you can’t just set it and forget it. That’s not the way this works. Yeah, well said. And then number 10. And we’ve actually already said it, but we want to highlight it before we before we wrap up. is we started with ask for help for yourself. Number 10 is asked for help for your kid. I I’ve experienced in my own parenting. I know that I’ve had friends who experienced this in their parenting, we run into something difficult with our kids. And it really is above our pay grade, we’re just we are barely keeping our own heads above water when it comes to trying to help them with this. And for some reason, we’re really reluctant to ask for help to reach out to a professional who knows what they’re doing, to see a therapist to talk to a pastor to talk to other friends. It’s our own shame or embarrassment, our own sense of guilt of what our kids are doing. In some cases, when our kids are older, it might be them saying, Please don’t tell anybody. But truth be told, like most of us, when our kids are wrestling with something as addictive as pornography, we need help. They need help. And so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Paul says to the church in Corinth, he says we we are members of one body and one part of the body cannot say to that another part I have no need of you. And yet in our parenting so often we act like just you know, Mom and Dad enough for our kids. Well, the truth is like we need the whole body of Christ. Our kids need the whole body of Christ. So be willing to ask for help for your kid. Michelle, anything else you’d say about that? Hmm.

Michelle 25:59
Now, if I wanted to get more information, though, where could I? Where could I? What are some good resources that you can tell me about? I know you’re working on a book? Well, I say work on it. When’s it coming out? I’m curious.

Josh 26:12
Yeah, so release date. So yeah, my book with Daniel Weiss, who’s the founder, president of brushfires foundation. We’ve been working for several years on a book which we’ve just finished called treading boldly through a pornographic world, a field guide for parents. And it is, this is it’s due out June 2021. So depending on when, when this podcast releases, may may be sooner or later, but you’ll be hearing more about that and less to come. So that’s, that’s one good resource. There are other resources that are helpful. That, you know, it’s it’s hard to find good Christian therapy that deals with pornography for kids, but but you can find good therapists who can help kids with things like emotional regulation, and which is underlying stuff. So Michelle, I know you’ve worked with some teens who do that. And if you if people are listening, and they’re in our area, please feel free to call us we’ll point you to some therapists we know who are great at what they do. If you’re outside the Baltimore, Northern Virginia areas, then we just encourage you to reach out to others in your area who know good therapists, and you’ll find some so yeah, and we’ll we’ll have whatever else we can link to in the show notes that can hopefully be helpful people too. So let me show you a quick flyover of how to respond but so many more things we can say about it. Let me just pray for the parents who are listening because men, Lord, we know it can be scary to find that a son or daughter has been struggling to pornography. Learn it can be can be hard to talk about it, it can be hard to admit it to ourselves. So we pray for any mom or dad listening who has discovered that and we pray Lord for your grace and covering for them. Lord, they may be parents, but they’re your kids. And they need a good father to love them as they’re trying to figure out how to walk with their son and daughter. So to bring your grace and your comfort every mom and dad listening, bring your hope. We pray for the sons and daughters represented by parents who are listening or we pray for release for that we pray for your your loving, warm and good conviction and their own hearts that they want to leave pornography behind. whatever other sexual things they might be wrestling with their prey, they catch a vision for who you’ve made them to be as men and women and they desire or you’re good and beautiful, designed for them. Lord, have mercy on us. We live in such a pornographic age. And we as parents, and we as those who love kids, or we just call out to you have mercy on us. Continue to teach us and guide us in prayer all these things the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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Original music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.

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2 thoughts on “10 Tips for Parents When Your Kid’s Viewing Porn”

  1. This showed up in my inbox the morning of a discovery with my oldest son. I am so grateful for the faithful ongoing work of Regeneration.

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