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5 Reasons You Don’t Want Porn

There’s an old French proverb that a pastor friend of mine quotes frequently: You can’t just want what you want. You also have to want what your wants lead to.

When it comes to viewing pornography, many of us know the undertow-like force we feel when temptation strikes. For some of us, we question whether porn is really so bad.

  • I could be doing things that are much worse.
  • It’s better than what I used to do.
  • Everyone uses porn.

However enticing it may seem, porn is a sham—a big, fat sham that keeps us from living the lives we actually want to live. It poses as a friend while it steals the things we love most.

Here are 5 reasons you don’t want pornography:

  1. It changes your brain. God designed your brain and body so that you can experience the world around you with all its joy, beauty, and goodness. With repeated porn use, your brain begins to shut down neuroreceptors that usually help you experience feelings of well-being, connection, health, calm, and energy. When these neuroreceptors shut down, you experience less joy with everyday life and even the porn you’ve been using begins to feel less satisfying. The result? You feel less pleasure with everyday life and you have to use porn more frequently or more intense porn to feel the same old high. You can imagine where this leads.
  2. It makes you impatient and selfish. With porn, nobody asks anything of you. It’s all about what you want, when you want it, how you want it. If you’re not happy, swipe right and move onto the next scene, the next scenario, the next person. There are literally zero other relationships in your life like this. Zero. Normal relationships require time, sharing and listening, giving and receiving, blessing and hardship. This is true whether we’re talking about friendships, family, marriage, work relationships, church relationships, and even the brief relationships you have with people in line at the grocery store or commuting with you on the bus.
  3. It trains you to see things, not people. Porn presents its actors and actresses as one-dimensional. But they are real people. She was a little girl once and he was a little boy. Each one has a history that led them here, often a history wrought with pain and harm. Each one has a life they go home to, and what they do on-camera impacts it all. And each one has a future they are living toward. Since they’re just objects in this industry, one day they will be discarded. What do you imagine they will do then?  
  4. Porn keeps you from healing. There are reasons you started going to porn, and there are reasons you keep going back. It’s not just the physical pleasure you’re after. When your eyes are scanning the screen, your heart is searching for healing. Healing from what? Porn provides clues in its depictions of control, power, and desirability. Likewise, though misused in porn, the naked body can convey beauty, strength, and comfort. In the lives of the men and women I’ve walked with over the years, porn ended up being a futile attempt at healing from stories of deep loneliness, abandonment, neglect, abuse, ridicule, betrayal, and other harm both past and present. It won’t find it in porn, but a person dying of thirst isn’t picky about what he’ll drink. Pornography is sabotaging your heart’s cry to find healing for your wounds.
  5. Pornography keeps you from growing. When we go to pornography, we’re bringing legitimate needs to an illegitimate source. Needs by definition aren’t optional, so if our needs are not actually being met, we’re not getting something required to grow into the men and women we’re designed to be. Imagine watering a thirsty plant with a bucket of blue confetti. It won’t grow, and neither will we where we’re turning to pornography. Drew Boa, founder of Husband Material, calls pornography a pacifier that we need to outgrow. Learn the legitimate needs you have and meet them in healthy ways, and you’ll outgrow porn.

Do you really want to use porn? If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you don’t. You want to live, to love, to heal, and to grow. Those are good desires, and Jesus wants them for you too. He’s all in to help you along the way. Let us know if we can help, too!

Question: What else helps you remember that you don’t really want porn?

For you,

Josh

Want to hear more this week? Check out the latest Becoming Whole podcast; Do You Want to Look at Porn?

5 thoughts on “5 Reasons You Don’t Want Porn”

  1. Great article Josh! Real relationships that are authentic. When I viewed porn it provided a life filled with fantasy and masterbation.Really a make believe life with no real substance. Being accountable and having other believers in Christ love me and accept me as I am. Most importantly reading the scriptures and drinking on God’s truth and love for me.

  2. This lists five things to which I can attest, and the reality of which has helped to keep me free of porn for over ten years. Each temptation is accompanied by a memory of the utter misery and bondage that I experienced, a misery that only increased with time. God freed me, and then has worked in my life to heal the pain for which porn was a temporary and increasingly unsatisfying “remedy.” God is gracious and far more powerful than porn.

  3. I just started researching on your website so thankfully I found what I was looking for and I hope is gonna change my life forever.
    I really need a serious help with pornography I have 6 years now watching pornography and is not satisfying anymore but is killing me spiritually.
    I want to stop watching porn and start Living , Loving , Healing , and Growing.
    I’m Inspired about those who are 10years free of porn hopefully God can also do the same to me.

    1. Hi Brian, I’m glad you found us! A couple things that will hopefully be helpful to you: First, reach out to us about our coaching or Awaken program — either would be super helpful for you. Second, within the next 60 days, our entire Awaken program will be available online for about $15/month, so you’d also be able to use it with friends or a mentor where you are. God’s grace and peace to you as you take this journey to leave porn in the past!

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