There’s an exclusivity in the topic of sexual abuse and rape as something that only happens to women. That is simply false. Men, let this episode invite you in, giving you space to consider what may have felt “weird” or called “lucky” as perhaps, abuse. Allow this time to clearly define your understanding of what sexual abuse and rape can mean for men. You are not meant to be left out. Let’s...
Was It “Weird” or Was It Abuse?
I remember watching more than one movie when I was a kid that depicted an adult woman initiating an adolescent boy into the ways of sex. Usually, the scenario included a nerdy and relationally insecure kid somehow meeting an adult woman who would take him under her wing romantically and sexually-speaking (Remember Weird Science, anyone?). For me as a teen guy, I could resonate with these boys on...
There’s Another Option
Most of us battling unwanted sexual behaviors teeter between Option A- Resist or Option B-Give In. Which option do you choose? If you’re wrestling with issues of pornography, lust or masturbation; this episode explores another Option. Jesus is inviting you to see more, not to see less. As St. John Paul II put it “there is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.”...
Why Avoiding Lust Can Be a Trap
If you struggle with pornography, beware a sneaky trap that may keep you going in circles. What do you do when you experience temptation? Most people with habitual patterns of unwanted sexual behaviors react to temptation in one of two ways: They lust or they look away. If I were to put it in a chart, it would look something like this: LUSTLOOK AWAYIndulgeResistRun Towards TemptationRun away from...
Be Curious About What You Feel
Too many people who struggle to overcome habitual pornography use believe that marriage will solve their problem. “Once I get married,” the reasoning goes, “I’ll have a God-given way to enjoy sex, so I won’t need porn anymore.” But in nearly every case, those who go into marriage hoping that an ongoing problem with pornography (or other unwanted sexual behaviors) will disappear once they’re...
Fragments of You
Looking up pornography, arranging an affair or hookup; these things cut you off from you. Unwanted sexual behaviors are an escape mechanism and their gift is dissociation. When you don’t know how to deal with the hardships in your life, dissociating through distraction can feel like an easy way out. But the further deep you are in your sexual sin, the farther you are walking away from you...