The habit loop, for good or bad, goes something like this: Trigger. Craving. Response. Reward. Let’s get Practical About Recovery. When it comes to unwanted sexual behaviors, that loop slides shame in just after the reward. That’s why you’re here now. You’re doing the work to break the cycle. But sometimes, the work feels annoying, unnecessary, and even boring. If you wish you could stop...
“That was Weird” – A Conversation for Men
There’s an exclusivity in the topic of sexual abuse and rape as something that only happens to women. That is simply false. Men, let this episode invite you in, giving you space to consider what may have felt “weird” or called “lucky” as perhaps, abuse. Allow this time to clearly define your understanding of what sexual abuse and rape can mean for men. You are not meant to be left out. Let’s...
Was It “Weird” or Was It Abuse?
I remember watching more than one movie when I was a kid that depicted an adult woman initiating an adolescent boy into the ways of sex. Usually, the scenario included a nerdy and relationally insecure kid somehow meeting an adult woman who would take him under her wing romantically and sexually-speaking (Remember Weird Science, anyone?). For me as a teen guy, I could resonate with these boys on...
There’s Another Option
Most of us battling unwanted sexual behaviors teeter between Option A- Resist or Option B-Give In. Which option do you choose? If you’re wrestling with issues of pornography, lust or masturbation; this episode explores another Option. Jesus is inviting you to see more, not to see less. As St. John Paul II put it “there is no dignity when the human dimension is eliminated from the person.”...
Why Avoiding Lust Can Be a Trap
If you struggle with pornography, beware a sneaky trap that may keep you going in circles. What do you do when you experience temptation? Most people with habitual patterns of unwanted sexual behaviors react to temptation in one of two ways: They lust or they look away. If I were to put it in a chart, it would look something like this: LUSTLOOK AWAYIndulgeResistRun Towards TemptationRun away from...
Struggling? Look to the Cross
The journey toward sexual integrity is a life-long journey. How does that statement strike you? In my experience, it typically hits most people in one of two ways. For some, it brings up a sense of dread. “Ugh! You’re kidding! I can’t keep going like this forever! The journey is too far.” For others, it brings up a sense of offense. “What? How dare you! I’ve made great progress and I’m living in...
