Every week, men and women contact Regen because their desires keep getting them into trouble. Or so they think.
But desire isn’t their problem. Fullishness is.
Here’s what I mean: The greatest threat to a person deprived of nutrients is not hunger. It’s believing he’s had enough to eat.
But as long as a man is hungry, he’ll seek out the nourishment he needs.
We’re saturated with what’s artificial, with quick-fixes, with subpar. We don’t recognize the depth of our hunger.
- Do you ever wonder why you keep going back to porn?
- Or why you lose your temper so often?
- Have you considered why you work so much?
- Or why it’s so difficult to put down your phone for extended periods of time?
- Why do you go through so many relationships?
- What’s going on that you can’t keep the weight off?
- Why do you have such a hard time saying no when people want your help?
Within Christendom, many of us act like following Jesus means an end to our hunger, along with sadness, loneliness, anger, pain, grief, and sorrow, too.
(While this will be true eventually, it’s not true yet. Case in point: Jesus.)
Most of the time, I don’t think we do this on purpose. But we’ve learned subtle ways of avoiding the immensity of our own longing and helping each other to do the same.
This is a disservice to everyone. The smaller we believe our hunger, the more we try to fill it with small, temporal things. This is fullishness. This is why you keep returning to porn, why you lose your temper so often, why you work so much…
Longing is placed in us by God. It is there to urge us to seek, to ask, to knock, to set our hearts toward heaven.
If we are created for union with God Himself, our desire does not need to be removed, it needs to be enlarged and ignited.
Don’t be fullish. Be hungry, for that is what you are.
I’d love your input: In what ways can we Christians make more room in our lives for longing and help one another to do so?
I’ve often wished I longed less. Thought if I could just not WANT relationships, friendships, touch, intimacy. If I could just be satisfied with the IMPORTANT stuff. You know, going to church, reading my bible, praying. Problem is – I was taught to do those “important” things divorced of intimacy.
So I could go and serve in church, read my bible, pray, and then go right back to my sin.
I continue to find the disciplines of Christian life often seem empty of relationship, intimacy.
How to make ROOM for longing? In my own life, making room means saying “no” to a short-term means of satisfying a long-term desire. One example, going to bed and sleep willing to experience the untouched ache for closeness; without eating a dozen chocolate chip cookies or without indulging in sexual fantasy. Then waking up the next morning and accepting that I am still present and OK. I made it through the night without that longing being met.
Helping one another? I think of really listening when another is expressing longing in the form of disappointment, or sorrow, or even anger. Listening and not trying to fix their hunger by saying “Oh, you just need to….”
Another way we can help one another is to bless the longings our loved ones and friends express. When we hear a comment or see an action that reflects longing, we may have the opportunity to speak words of encouragement letting our friend know that we see, and we believe in, the rightness of the longing that he or she is wrestling with.
These are my thoughts. From one who is often far too “fullish”.
LIke, Like, Like
sorry, the last work should also be like….sheesh
I don’t know that most of us have a hard time acknowledging our longings and desires. I know that they are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, rather many are God given and innate. I do struggle with the easy and ready platitudes of the church that we are given to fill us. They do often taste of sawdust in our months. The most encouragement I have received in the midst of my own longings is a listening ear, a hug, and silence.
Share Christ w one person each day & see how much less you want to feed those worldly desires.
Do you think your friendship w an unbeliever is more important than their Salvation & Relationship w Christ?
Gal 2:20 is a daily mission
God Bless all!
Yes! Not to deny but to recognize with one another our longings! And then be sure to remind each other that we belong to another world. “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” C.S. Lewis
For most of my life, before and after receiving sonship, I lived out of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, instead of what Jesus came to invite us into, The Tree of Life. Life in the Holy Spirit. I tried to fill myself when I was already filled with His life. Learning to receive His Love and live from a place of rest, seemed like a fairy tell this side of heaven. My sexual brokenness over time revealed almost a complete lack of in a inability to connect with the Father in His feminine presence. I sorely needed the courage to allow Him to be “Comfort” to me in the deepest part of me. The Journey has started, many more miles to go, being nurtured by Him is so intimate, that I have a growing awareness that allowing myself to live through Him in weakness is the most masculine way of life.