Consider this, sexual sins are tied to our failure to manage emotions in a healthy way. As much as sexual sins are a problem, they are ultimately a symptom of deeper wounds that God wants to heal.
It takes much more than just stopping bad habits to develop sexual integrity. It means learning to care well for yourself and others, including emotionally.
Do you know what the best part is? Jesus can help you because He knows how you feel. He experienced all human emotions, including happiness, optimism, loneliness, rage, grief, and anguish, as well as fear, rejection, and loss. He made human emotion in the first place since He is the Creator. You were given emotion when God created you, and He intended for you to feel strongly.
Emotions play an important role in how we connect with ourselves, others, and God. Unwanted sexual behaviors are often a sign that, deep in our hearts, we are living disconnected from ourselves, others, and God.
So what’s the first step?
Desire
In Luke 18:29-42, we read of a blind man who wanted Jesus to heal him. Jesus calls for the blind man and asks an odd question: “What do you want me to do for you?”
Everyone could see the man’s blindness. (No joke intended) He was blind and begging on the side of the road, why would He ask this? Consider this, when Jesus called the man He didn’t just want the man to bring his blindness. He wanted the man to bring his desire. The same is true for you and me. Jesus wants us to be in touch with our desires and bring them to Him.
When you examine what you truly desire when you are tempted to sin sexually, you will discover a desire for something more than sin. You’ll discover desires for…
- Connection
- Beauty
- Love
- Meaning
- Life
- Belonging
- Strength
- Protection
- Freedom
- Home
And underneath these, if you dig deep, you’ll find desire for Him. Our emotions, which are God-designed and God-given, are windows into our true desires, identities, and purposes in life.
Hearing Jesus ask, “What do you want me to do for you?” will help you go further than simply stopping bad behavior and help you develop sexual and relational integrity. And it would be an honor for our staff at Regeneration to assist you in that Journey.
Which of the items on the list above have you been looking for, and where have you been focusing your search? We’d love to hear from you.
I’ve found that to deal with sexual desire that has no God-provided outlet, I’ve had to deaden my emotions and forcefully reject sexual desires and the expectations related to them, so that I can move on with life. When I can’t change my circumstances, I have to change my expectations, and to not be bitter at God about it. Otherwise life is consumed with wishing for things you can’t have. Why be under the control of unmet sexual desires? Think of all the time wasted striving for unattainable things instead of moving on with other good things in life.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Louis. It sounds like you are experiencing more room in your life since no longer letting your mind be consumed with a desire for sexual sin. That sounds really good. I’m curious about what you mean by having to “deaden” your emotions. On the one hand, I can understand the need to turn away from desires that lead you to unhealthy places, and with God’s grace to gain mastery over emotions rather than letting emotions rule you. On the other hand, I would want to be careful not to try to mortify an aspect of your life that God created for good. If we can serve you in this journey, please let us know.