Rewind to a time in your past that was full of hurt, pain, wounding.
Release, if you can, any feelings of shame and grief. As hard as it may be to believe; there is more to be found in your past wounding.
In this episode of “Becoming Whole,” Josh and Kit explore the practice of rewinding to reveal the glory waiting in the wounding.
This is not a practice of glossing over our pasts looking for the positives. We are loved by a God of redemption who has, yes, written glory even in your wounding. We hope you’ll accept this as an invitation to begin exploring the glory that is yours to claim, to take notice of the elements you never noticed before.
Satan wants you to stay stuck, to be lost in rejection and shame.
But God is waiting to give you more through the little version of you who endured so much.
That version of you, who was hurt so long ago, deserves another look back to discover the way forward in healing and strength and God-given glory.
We’re opening ourselves to the glory that was ours in our past including in our wound stories.
We need to see the glory and the strength of who we are, who we were, even in those moments.
God is present in all the good and the negative. And the enemy wants us just to focus on, even in our healing, he wants us to focus on just the bad things that happened.
Think back to a painful memory: What was the enemy going after in that moment? What does it say about you that you were able to endure all you walked through?
Consider the story of The Woman at the well John 4:1-42. Who was the woman? What was her sin? How must she have felt getting water everyday apart from everyone else? Why would Jesus choose her? What did Jesus see in her? Where was the glory in her story?
Click for Full Podcast Transcription
Okay, we’re recording Hey, welcome back, everybody I’m really excited to talk about we’re gonna talk about today, we’re just gonna do a brief conversation kit. And I, that’s something new that that I’ve been learning. It’s been really, really helpful for me in my life. And I’m, I think it’s gonna really be really helpful for a lot of you. So we have for a long time in our ministry help people to walk through healing from wounds in their pasts. A lot of times, they’re, you know, what we it was normal for us growing up, or we kind of walked through a long time can almost feel like it’s just inevitably part of us. But Jesus wants to really bring healing. And so it begins with acknowledging the reality of how we were wounded. In some ways, exploring the the breadth and the depth of those wounds with somebody else, a trusted coach, or pastor or a friend, bringing the wounds to the light to reduce the shame that inevitably comes with past wounds, whether abuse or ridicule, or any myriad of other things. grieving the pain and the loss that we experienced, lamenting that, and being comforted by other people and by the Lord, to bring healing to turn the turn the tide, and that woman being somebody just kind of continues to suck life from you. But all that same with how wonderful all that is, and beautiful that is, and as we do healing prayer, and as we walk together with people, one of the things that I’ve been learning is another component to that journey with our wounds is opening ourselves to the glory that was ours in our pasts, including in our wound stories. And so we’re gonna unpack that a little bit today and invite you to begin exploring where there might be glory that’s revealed in some of your past wounds stories. So kit, what comes to mind for us? I say that were that encouraging. Is it a head scratcher? What, what happens for you when we talk about that?
Yeah, it’s very encouraging, because I think we so often can’t see, glory, you know, we see shame or embarrassment or pain. And it’s so consistent, right? Josh, with what we know about who God is that he is a redemptive God, and that he will want us to see glory, because there is glory, no matter what’s happening. And so I think it’s a, it’s a refreshing and insightful perspective. And I look forward to exploring it.
I think theologically, we can think of, you know, like, Genesis three, the fall, start is not the beginning of story, the beginning of the story is Genesis one, as Adam and Eve are the kind of this crown of creation, they, they’re made in God’s image. And so if we’ve been wounded, if there’s been an area of our life, where we got off track, what what was the enemy going after, in that moment? What was there and what, what part of us was still resilient through there? Yeah, so for me, one of the stories that came to mind in my own life was a, and I don’t have time to get into the full scope of it, but was a an experience, there was a boy growing up, who just constantly would, would ridicule and mock me, really a bully in my life, that tour at just the fabric of my heart. I mean, if I were to kind of paint a picture of what he felt like, for me growing up, he’d be that, you know, some kind of, you know, small Tiger or something that would, you know, continue to kind of follow me around, I just scratch it my skin and break open wounds. And in in seventh grade, there was an experience in the boys locker room with this, this kid pointing and laughing at me, and I just felt so embarrassed and so ashamed. And then inviting, you know, my friends to kind of, you know, share this spread this rumor around the whole school about me and just mortified is a horrifying, traumatic experience. And I had been through some listening prayer about this, I talked to a therapist about this scene and, and this memory, but as I dug into it, with the help of some of j stringers work actually, I began also to notice that there there are these elements of what happened in that story that I never paid attention to before some some real glory, that that that me as a 12 year old boy that I had that I’d never seen before. And it’s actually changed how I feel about that story. And about that guy that used to ridicule me, which has been really remarkable for me. I’m sure more about that later. But is there is there a wound story or a story for you that you kind of identified some of the wound stuff and began to grieve that?
Yeah, well, I you know, it’s a, it’s like you it’s something that I’ve thought about before, but I’ve been able to think about it a little bit differently. And in especially kind of in light of our beginning to talk about this perspective of glory, and it had to do when I was like 12 or 13. We had just moved from a small farm town to a suburb of a big city. My family was in shambles. My dad’s drinking was out of town. Control and, and I was very lonely and sad and troubled. And I used to sit at a piano and play and sing these very, very, very dramatic songs. And, and I did have some compassion for myself when I thought about that little girl, but I also had some shame and embarrassment, you know, thinking what a drama queen. But as I think about it in this new light, I think and then, in recent years, I’ve begun to see Jesus sitting there with me and not shaming me and not being embarrassed, but actually entering into what was going on. And also kind of acknowledging, and maybe even, here’s where the glory part comes, acknowledging my desire to express my emotions, to be honest and real about it. And I don’t think I thought about that before, as much as I thought about, you know, drama, Queen and embarrassment. So I think it’s a, I think it’s a very healthy way to both acknowledge your pain, but also acknowledge the glory of our stories, no matter what is going on, you know, there’s something true and good about us.
Yeah, yeah. So a couple things from that story that I started sharing before, for me that I had just not noticed before. One was, how in the, in that locker room with that, that scary situation that exposed and kind of feeling mortified in that situation. I had forgotten how I stood up and just faced this guy as he, as he was mocking me. And I was in a very vulnerable situation. And I wasn’t trying to fight I mean, I kind of always actually had kind of fantasized about if I go back, you know, what I pick up when I just like, you know, punch him in the face. And, but when I missed it, in that kind of, you know, like, looking back on it was that what I did do is I just stood up where I was, I stood my ground, and I faced him and, and then moved about my business. And the other thing that I forgot, or that I kind of always, I always remember that he’d come to my friends later. And like, let’s spread this rumor bla bla, and how mortifying that was and how afraid I was that he would you know that every in the school would be talking about me and treating me like he did. But that never happened. And it as I process that I was like, wait a minute, like, I had good friends. And they didn’t spread that rumor. And maybe it’s because this this kid who has such an impact on me. They weren’t influenced by him in that way. And they didn’t want to tear me down. Like he wanted to tear me down. And and why didn’t go out throughout the school like, well, maybe because other kids also liked me enough. They didn’t care to spread that rumor. So there’s some different elements to that story. But I just I think I missed that I was a strong kid that there was a courage in me, and that I had friends who cared about me, and that this guy had, somehow his words and just blown everything up. And that’s one of the glory that I think I’d missed in in my looking back at my 12 year old self.
Important, isn’t it to it is really important, as we’ve talked before. And it’s so so true that we need to acknowledge your pain, we need to acknowledge the pain of our woundings. And we need to see the glory and the strength of who we are, who we were even in those moments. And I think that’s a really, I think that’s a fresh kind of perspective on this whole idea, because I am extremely convicted about the idea that we need to we need to go back and we need to look at our childhoods, it’s very fruitful. to really spend some time with a mentor or, or a coach or therapist, you know, looking at these things, but it’s important to to find those good nuggets, though those really those moments of glory as well as the pain,
You bring up a really important point, which is the distinction between looking for the glory as a way to try to escape or deny the pain. That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re not talking about like, Oh, yeah, but the good outweigh the bad like, we’re, we’re mining for simply what’s true, what was real and true in that moment, and there, there was real pain, there was real wounding, there was real sin and, and cruelty in that moment towards me. There was real sadness and real disruption and real longing and loneliness in you in the story you shared and probably so much more. That stuff is real. And for us to deny it or try to whitewash over it with the good news would be dishonouring to that little boy or little girl. But on the other hand, the the hardship is not all that there was what else was there? And even sometimes, when we’re looking we’re looking for what else was there in the midst of the hardship or, I mean, sometimes it can even just be the resilience of somebody who walked through such incredible pain. Like, what does that say about you that you were able to endure all that you walked through. And I don’t want to try to write the script of what that would be. But I think we’re trying to simply elevate here is that God is, is present in all the good and the negative, and the enemy wants us just focused on even in our healing, he wants us just focused on the bad things that happened and what we need to be healed from. And sometimes we can miss that the good that was that was revealed in us, and that was that kind of even shone forth through that moment. So I appreciate you bringing up the importance of really making sure that we’re facing and grieving, the loss or the wound of the pain that was there as well.
And, you know, we often write also talk about this idea of both and so yes, that’s so true. And so and so an incredibly important, and how, the, at the same time, how the hope and, and strength gets lost, if we if we don’t have that be both? And yes, definitely delve into the pain and yes, look at hope and look at strength, because I do think that gets lost in the, in the, in the process often.
Do you think that people kind of may tend towards one or the other of those, I’m either gonna, you know, focusing on the pain, or I’m gonna focus in on the hope or the glory?
Well, I think that’s true. You know, I think that’s why both and is so important. Because I think that we can just get lost in self rejection and a lack of self compassion. And we can just be like, Oh, I was terrible, and it was terrible. And the pain is just too much, and we’ll ever get better. Or we can go, Oh, it’s all fine. It’s all fine and gloss over it. And neither one of those is not helpful. And we can at any point in time, move from one to the other. But to be able to really explore that both those things are important, I think is a is a very integral way to look at it. Yeah.
So let me let me wrap this up with just one one invitation to those who are listening. And the invitation is simply think about. And for some of you, this will be top of mind, but think about a wound story from your life. And when you that typically for you and you’ve thought back about your experience in childhood, your life, even maybe as a as an adult, but earlier in your life. And there’s a memory that you’ve got at a time that really, boy, I really messed it up in that season, or Boy, that person really wounded me or that was a really real low point. Have you given yourself and honored that you at that age? Have you honored yourself at that age by lamenting by facing the pain that was there the real wounds the evil done to you? And also, have you ever explored and invited Jesus to reveal to you where his glory shone through you where where the true you was, was shining forth, even in the midst of that crucible of what you experienced. And I think here, if you need a scriptural example of this, I think here of the Samaritan woman, the woman at the well. And I’ve heard that story. So many times. This is a woman who’s been with married multiple times. She’s now living with a woman who’s with a man who’s not her husband, Jesus comes and talks to her and asks her for a drink. And they started this conversation, he reveals to her that he knows all about her past and he knows about her thirst. And she goes off into the village and says, you know, it could just be the Messiah come and meet him. And he told me everything I’ve ever done. And I’ve heard just the beauty of that story, the humility of Christ to come and and start by addressing her thirst and naming the reality for sin. And one question we might ask each other, as we think back in the story is why did Jesus choose her to interact with first in that town? And it was beyond just happenstance that she was there for a while. And I, I think we might say, well, because she was the one who was the most need. She was alone and rejected, and she had to come to the world midday and was immersed in shame and immersed in sin. And I think that’s all true. Why would Jesus reach out to her for all those reasons that she was at the low, the low side of that culture and alone and ashamed. But I wonder also, in light of this conversation today, if part of the reason that Jesus chose her was because of her glory, she was a woman who longed for relationship. And, and we can even see it in the midst. I mean, both in her sin store, we can see her longing for a relationship, but also, she just tells you the truth, and what does she do with it? She runs back to the town and calls people together and says, Come and meet him too. Yes. Could it be that part of the reason Jesus chose her is because of the glory he could see in her something that he put in her long before she was ever wounded in a long before she’d ever seen that he was calling forth again in a fresh new way.
That’s such a great perspective. And each one of us could pause And think about that couldn’t wait in our pain stories like how did God see us? And what was his hope for us? That true self that he created? And what did he see? And what did he want and hope for? I really appreciate that, Josh.
Yeah. Jesus, we just as we wrap up, we turn to you, Lord. And we know that that what you’re doing in our lives is not just to wash us clean of sins we’ve done and since then against us, Lord, but but you are, you’re doing something in us that is actually strengthening and growing us or you’re making us remaking us in your image. rebirthing, redeeming renewing something, Lord, that we become more fully the men and women You created us to be. Or that’s a part of you preparing us for that great wedding feast where we’ll come hungry, and with good appetites. Because Because we are we are sons and daughters of the king, brothers and sisters to Christ. Grateful recipients, Lord, if of all the work you’ve done for us. So Lord, would you walk with every person listening in that way? Or put your finger on some of their both pain, Lord, but also the glory that you sowed in them from the beginning in the you’re pulling forth and wanting to redeem today, and pray this now and your strong name or Jesus Christ? Amen.
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Original music by Shannon Smith. Audio engineering by Gabriel @ DelMar Sound Recording.
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