As much as I’m sometimes tempted to believe otherwise, if I want to become increasingly whole and free, I have to let others know me fully, including confessing my sins.
A half-veiled life—a life where I hold all the cards, orchestrate who knows what, decide what will make me better and what won’t—doesn’t work.
For a long time I believed that stepping into the light with my sins—especially the ones I was most ashamed of—was too risky. So I hid my sin, determining to put it behind me before uttering a word about it to anyone.
But life needs light. Sin and death thrive in darkness. It’s their natural habitat.
Not ours.
When Adam and Eve sinned for the first time, they scrambled to hide themselves from each other. Today, we race for updated versions of the fig leaf: career, social circles, makeup, fitness, knowledge, independence, religious-looking activities. Insubstantial to cover us, they demand we step carefully, hold ourselves just so, and for goodness sake, never let down our guard lest we be exposed.
Confession invites us to lay our fig leaves down.
God comes toward fig leaf covered sinners, just like He did in Genesis.
He didn’t come to scare them. And when He questioned them, it wasn’t to shame them.
When Adam and Eve confessed (and they offered a phenomenally pathetic confession, we might note), He exchanged their fig leaves for clothing made of flesh. He drew first blood, a sacrificial death to remove their shame and cover them.
Likewise, God doesn’t invite us to confess our sins to one another to shame us. He wants restored relationship with us and between us.
I know, the step from darkness to light can feel impossible, the risks too great. But as we take that risk, and then as we begin to make a habit of telling the whole truth about ourselves, sin and shame lose their grip. (If you’re not sure where to begin, you can call us.)
I have come to believe there is little more important to life, health, freedom, and relationships than regular, truthful confession.
There, in the presence of Christ and my brothers and sisters, we lay down our fig leaves and say plainly the wrongs we have done. Shame rises momentarily, threateningly, the last flicker of a flame before it dies away. And we arise clean and clothed in Christ.
Question: What helps you tell the truth to others about sins in your life? Or if you don’t, what would help you? Leave a comment below.
Honestly,
Josh
The first time I honestly confessed my SSA was to a Christian counselor and he ended up referring me to Love in Action. Then I confessed it to a female who I was hoping to have feelings for and marry. When the relationship ended she told my ministry supervisor and I had to share my unwanted struggle with him. My supervisor then ordered me to pay for ten sessions of counseling. I guess my family would appreciate knowing but it would cause more pain for them than good for me.
Rick, you’ve been courageous. God bless you for that. Have these experiences helped or hindered your willingness to walk in the light with others? Or both?
Josh……I am glad that the ministry leadership knows about my struggle because they have been supportive when they could have let me go. Telling my female friend was the right thing to do but probably not as soon as I did it.
Over 3 years I have developed a deep friendship with my Celebrate Recovery sponsor. He doesn’t deal with SSA issues, but he does not judge me, which has made me realize I can be honest about my struggles.
Another member of my Celebrate Recovery frequently reminds me of this verse:
Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Mark, I like your CR sponsor! Sounds like a good man. Would that we would all find men or women who, though they may not struggle just as we do, would walk in Christ’s grace and truth with us.
I also appreciate what you wrote about how taking time to develop a deeper friendship with him has helped you be vulnerable.
And thanks for sharing Proverbs 28:13. So good.