Do I Need a Filter to Overcome Porn?

People trying to overcome habitual porn use sometimes resist using a porn filter on their devices. They have varying reasons—some fairly solid, some not so much.

• I’m afraid it will block things I need access to for work.
• It will slow down my device too much.
• It’s a work phone and I’m not allowed to.
• I’m a tech guy and know how to get around every filter out there.
• I want to trust Jesus to deliver me, not a filter.

So, do you absolutely need a filter to overcome a pornography problem?

No.

But you do need space, and it is difficult to get that space when pornography is still readily accessible on your devices.

People don’t go to pornography primarily because it feels good. The cost is too high for just a few minutes or hours of pleasure. Men and women who are addicted to pornography have experienced loss because of porn. They’ve hurt their productivity at work or school, lost sleep because they stayed up late into the night, shattered a spouse’s trust, warped the way they see people in normal life, and come to feel out of control and disconnected from the person they most want to be.

People go to pornography for other, deeper reasons. When we use it, we’re taking legitimate needs, wants, questions, and wounds to an illegitimate source. Put differently, there are places inside that are trying to tell you something, and pornography won’t let you hear.

Here’s where a filter can be helpful. Even while you’re still habituated and prone to pursuing pornography compulsively, a filter can help you abstain. It can help create moments of space—a bit more quiet without the static of pornography. In this space you’ll have better opportunity to hear where your heart is crying out and what it is saying.

To clarify, I do not believe filters can change us. It is faulty to believe that just having enough time away from porn will automatically break the old habit.

Abstinence is necessary, but more is necessary.

A key principle in this conversation comes from Paul’s words to the Christians in Corinth (who were no strangers to sexual temptation), when he acknowledged that they are free to make their own choices, but that not everything they choose will be beneficial, helpful, or edifying, and that they want to be careful not to be mastered by anything (1 Corinthians 6:12, 10:23).

So here’s the bottom line: You do not need to use a filter to find freedom from a porn habit, but you do need space. Filters are one option. If you have other ways to get space and abstinence, go for it. Many people who have gone before you—including people like me who resisted filters at first—eventually found they were actually incredibly helpful and did help provide more space away from porn.

A filter can’t break a pornography addiction on its own, but it can help you with abstinence while you begin tending to the deeper matters where the addiction took root and continues to hold you.

Questions for you: Do you use a filter on your devices? Whether you do or don’t, what’s hard about that? What’s helpful? For those of you who have been walking free from porn for a while, do you still use a filter?

For you,
Josh

Want to hear more this week? Check out the latest Becoming Whole podcast; Getting Practical About Recovery