Excerpt from Path through the Wilderness


… Jesus’ greater purpose in coming to earth was to be the connection, the way for us to be in right relationship with the Father. Adam and Eve’s capacity to see and hear aright changed the moment they ate of the [forbidden] fruit. Their spiritual eyes closed …they went from life to death! Knowledge of good and evil replaced their true source of life.

Knowledge in and of itself cannot impart life to us in any capacity apart from Jesus. Doctrines cannot produce life in us. Lacking our center in Jesus, the pursuit of good knowledge to overcome evil knowledge will not yield life. Only through the Person of Jesus can we find life.

The problem Jesus came to solve wasn’t just to address bad behavior, then, but to restore the true source and foundation of life. The Pharisees believed their knowledge made them good and gave them strength to be good…

Do we truly know what our problem is? Have we shifted our focus onto our behaviors rather than on the real issue? Have we begun to understand that our outward behaviors actually reflect an inner problem? What are the filters that prevent me from seeing aright? We are easily distracted, believing the goal is merely behavior modification. We need the capacity to truly see that there is something within that needs the healing presence of Jesus.

So What Is Your Problem?

We search and hope for something more. We sense that there has to be something beyond our daily pain and struggles. We can come to a point of making the courageous choice to believe that God will meet us. It is a fearful and difficult choice to believe and to hope. Believing often entails the relinquishing of my control and facing the unknown, or what truly lies beneath.

But there is a place within you that wants to believe; otherwise you wouldn’t be reading these words at this very moment. Choosing to believe means you can face your fears regarding God. It means you can allow God to remove the distorted filters through which you see and know Him.

I often pray for God to expose anywhere I am remaking Him into my own image. Many of us make “designer gods” that fit our preferences. We need to enter a true relationship with the real God! The God I seek is He who is always there, who knows my voice, who knows my heart, who always sees me. Just like the Na’vi in the movie Avatar, who greet each other with the words “I see you,” God always sees me. Not with eyes looking for what is wrong, but with eyes that yearn to draw me toward His healing word for my aching soul.

We are more than merely a problem waiting to be solved by God. Rise up, beloved daughter and precious son! Your struggles do not make you chronically unique. We are one body, struggling together with relational and sexual issues, whether heterosexual or homosexual. Our individual struggles do not separate us but join us together because of our shared humanity. All of us are broken in some capacity and in need of a Savior. Your need is no greater or less than the need of those who surround you.

The way to wholeness and freedom is the same for all: following Jesus, who is our path through the wilderness. Here is metanoia, a change in our thinking. We stop letting our behavior, our temptations, and our circumstances define us. God’s intervention enables us to see and know Him aright. In so doing we will eventually see and know others and ourselves aright.

In my early years of process, I was pursuing the healing of my soul rather than the Healer of my soul. As I began to relinquish control of my process into His hands, deep, almost imperceptible changes began to occur within me. The constant presence of God’s love began gently to break down my walls, the barriers I had created over many years. Slowly He lifted my eyes to see into His face, a face full of grace and mercy. Looking up and out of myself, I waited for His healing word for my soul.

He does speak to us, you know! The mighty and majestic Creator of the universe is waiting to speak to you. Will you risk believing He will? Will you let Him reveal Himself to you in whatever way He chooses? God doesn’t fit us into a box; neither should we try to fit Him into one.

Do you see in yourself the progression of self-focus that leads to sloth or striving? Did you come to this course as another attempt for healing or to change your behavior? Are you only searching for the right “knowledge” that will somehow help you achieve your idea of perfection? Right now would be a great time to shift your focus from striving to do better to focusing on knowing Him better. Shift your focus from your behavior to the Savior who longs to connect you to the Father as your source. This shift will create hope, and hope will lead you forward on this journey.

As you begin this path through the wilderness, choose to make hope a belief. “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (2 Peter 1:3). The knowledge of Him is not just knowing the Bible, the book of the Lord, but also knowing the Lord of the book. I hope you will read the following chapters not only to gain knowledge, which has practical application, but to seek the knowing of God relationally through the experiencing of true intimacy with Him.


Lord, You know our inner most thoughts and struggles. You are acquainted with our pain, grief, and sorrow. You know right where we are when we lack the words to describe our circumstances. We need Your discernment to define and reveal our brokenness. Lord, show us where our problem truly lies. How have we pursued wrong paths which only led to disappointment and fear?

We turn to You. We need Your presence to lead and guide us. Impart to us Your grace and mercy as we enter into this dedicated season of seeking You more deeply. Help us to lay down any restless activism in our pursuit of healing rather than the pursuit of You as our Healer. Reveal where we are striving instead of resting in Your care. Please help us release control and be yielded to Your plan for us. May we truly come to know our hope is secure in You because You dwell within us. Lead us in Your way everlasting.

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