If you’re stuck in some area of your life (sexual or otherwise), it might be because of shame.
Shame has an unrivalled ability to derail progress and hinder growth, and . . . it’s sneaky. It can come so subtly that often you don’t even realize it’s there.
Shame’s primary message goes something like this:
You are uniquely defective.
Take a look at those words for just a moment.
Is there any area of your life where you hear this message? Any area of your life where you have a general sense that no one in your life (or in your family, among your peers, at your church, in your company, at your age, or of your gender) is as bad as you are?
Or maybe it’s not something you hear. Maybe it’s just something you feel.
If so, shame is likely at work.
If shame has slipped its primary message in, here’s what it will whisper next:
- You don’t belong here.
- You’ll be rejected.
- Your only hope is to isolate: Keep your defective parts hidden or withdraw yourself completely from everyone. Including God.
Before you know it, shame has shoved you (or at least a part of your life) into a dark corner where no one will see.
It’s a crock.
And it’s time you know: Jesus and shame don’t like each other much.
I know shame has told you they’re buddies. I know shame’s told you it’s delivering a message from Jesus, maybe even that Jesus didn’t want to deliver the message himself because the defects disgust him.
But it’s not true. Jesus doesn’t despise you. He despises shame (see Hebrews 12:2).
No matter what shame has been saying, Jesus is searching for you. And throughout your life, his love has been searching for those parts of you that are defective, weak, broken, or sinful.
The cure to shame is not isolation; it’s the love of God.
So when you find yourself hiding, when you find you’ve been shoved little by little into darkness, step back into the light.
And if you’re having trouble with that, ask Jesus for help. He said he came for the lost and he wasn’t kidding.
And if you’re still having trouble with shame, give us a call. We’d be honored to help.
Pushing back,
Josh
Love this Josh. Thank you! Freedom from shame has been the most revolutionary change in my Christian experience since Salvation – it is a cruel, cruel taskmaster and hates the idea of us maturing into our inheritance and identity in Christ Jesus and taking our rightful place as a functioning part of His body. Thank you Jesus for bearing my sin and despising its shame not once but forever!
I am glad you mentioned that our shame doesn’t have to be in our thoughts alone, but could also be our feelings. My shame often rules me quietly without words leaving me feeling really lost.