If you’re stuck in some area of your life (sexual or otherwise), it might be because of shame. Shame has an unrivalled ability to derail progress and hinder growth, and . . . it’s sneaky. It can come so subtly that often you don’t even realize it’s there. Shame’s primary message goes something like this: You are uniquely defective. Take a look at those words for just a moment. Is there any area...
Unfit for Man
How often do you see men depicted in contemporary media who successfully resist when tempted sexually? Examples are rare, but I’ll bet most of us can think of at least a few. Now what about depictions of men turning away from an opportunity to lust? Examples are nearly non-existent. The man always turns to see what he’s not invited to, to steal a glance, to take a peek, even to let his eyes...
Saints, Sinners, Storytellers
I long for people to be more courageous with their stories. Over the past decade and a half, I’ve had the honor of seeing many men and women take journeys against impossible odds— to fight for a marriage that seems hopeless, to give up sexual sins others consider normal (the “normal” list is growing), or to pursue healing from past sexual abuse. But outside one or two key friendships, many of...
The Macaroni and Cheese Effect
At their core, your desires are not the problem. They’re a gift, pointing to a good, God-given desire. And this is true even if the desire you’re feeling is for something sinful. Usually when I go on a dinner date with my wife, we make a simple meal for the kids before we go. Chicken nuggets, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, or fish sticks. They love it. I’m a sucker for the macaroni and cheese:...
Life Without Fear
What would it be like to live without fear? What keeps us attached to fear? How do we break free?
Humble. Receptive.
How do you handle stress? I usually have one of two reactions. The first is to try to work harder and go faster. Forget asking for help, forget prayer, just put your head down and run forward until the job is done. The second is to back away from whatever it is that’s producing the stress. I shut down, check out, procrastinate, make excuses. Again, forget asking for help, just busy yourself with...