Leaving your unwanted sexual behaviors behind is going to mean suffering of one kind or another. Otherwise, you’re using the “F” word. Not that “F” word. I’m talking about a cursing of a different kind, and all dressed up like a gift. It’s the curse of being Fine. Ten years ago, during my yearly physical with a brand new physician, my doctor made the comment...
Sorry, Eyes
A pen is designed to write. A book to be read. A violin to play music. A pen can also punch a hole in a watermelon. A book can work as a decent footstool. And in a pinch, a violin would make fine kindling. Likewise, eyes can lust. But they’re not designed to. If you struggle with lust, you need to know this. Your eyes aren’t the problem. Christ came to condemn sin in your eyes, not to condemn...
Unfit for Man
How often do you see men depicted in contemporary media who successfully resist when tempted sexually? Examples are rare, but I’ll bet most of us can think of at least a few. Now what about depictions of men turning away from an opportunity to lust? Examples are nearly non-existent. The man always turns to see what he’s not invited to, to steal a glance, to take a peek, even to let his eyes...
Weighty, Wonderful Freedom
God put freedom in our DNA. We feel it when we look out over the ocean. Or when we can’t see over the prison wall. But if I’m honest with myself, I’m not always happy with how far God goes with this gift of freedom. Freedom means any number of possible outcomes, and they’re not all good. “God, do you see what’s happening down here? Could you scale back on the freedom just a bit, please?” As a...
Pure What?
Before I came to Regeneration, my accountability partners and I regularly talked about pursuing purity. Interestingly, though, none of us ever asked what exactly we meant. What I was after was a complete absence of sexual sin. That was my definition of purity. I’d say something very different today. (As a matter of fact, I’m about to.) Purity is not primarily about an absence of something sinful...
Saints, Sinners, Storytellers
I long for people to be more courageous with their stories. Over the past decade and a half, I’ve had the honor of seeing many men and women take journeys against impossible odds— to fight for a marriage that seems hopeless, to give up sexual sins others consider normal (the “normal” list is growing), or to pursue healing from past sexual abuse. But outside one or two key friendships, many of...
