Merciful Refusal

Too many people have the unfortunate problem of managing quite nicely. Quite nicely is nice when all things are well, but when there’s a secret moral failure, a destructive pattern, a relational problem, or a long-buried wound, managing quite nicely is a problem. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It’s a silent misery. As a 19 year old Christian college student, I was harboring secret sexual sins...

Tail on Fire

Like a cat with its tail on fire, we run thinking it’s a matter of self-preservation. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Ashamed and Shameless

Without a sense of how to become free from shame, we’re living in a culture settling for shamelessness instead. It’s a poor substitute. To be shame-free means shame no longer has any hold on you—it doesn’t interfere with how you hear others, doesn’t muddy your relationships, doesn’t challenge the decisions you need to make, doesn’t shape the way you perceive yourself, and doesn’t influence how...


Shame hurts. And when you’ve done something wrong, that’s a good thing. Like all pain, it’s meant to tell you something’s amiss and needs attention. When a splinter enters a person’s hand, pain sensors alert the person that there’s a problem by making the hand hurt. When the splinter’s removed, the wound is cleaned, and the cells regenerate, the hand no longer hurts. Likewise, when shame is...

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