Toxic Mommy & Me


As a little girl, in what ways was your mom NOT who you needed her to be?

You’re probably feeling a reaction to this question in your gut.

Whether your reflex is to protect your mom with excuses or you’re ready to lash out; you’re in the right place.

We invite you to listen while we explore the “Mother Wound.” Let’s define the pain with an understanding that is less about blaming your mom and more about naming the hurt.

Identifying a Mother Wound is to name the wounding so you can move through it towards healing.

Let’s get started.


You might come into therapy or coaching saying, here are all these symptoms I’m having. Here are all these ways the pain is coming out sideways. And, hopefully, with a good coach or therapist we can go to the sources of the hurt and find some deeper healing that is waiting for us there.

Where was your mom not who you needed her to be as a kid: whether that it being emotionally checked out, even towards neglected? Whether that’s from being overbearing and strict, more authoritarian, all the way to abusive? Where were there some ways your mom was not who you needed her to be?

Not connecting as a little girl can turn into difficulty not connecting as a woman.

And there may be some truth to it as well – that she did do the best she could. And, we can say that with that honor and honesty and still be able to acknowledge that there was some hurt there.

By naming some of these wounds, we can honor ourselves.

Identifying a mother wound is not to say, my mom is bad. Identifying a mother wound is to name the wounding and then to move through it towards healing.

When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers. – Henri Nouwen

grief and anger are necessary and uncomfortable but they’re okay. There’s a place for them here in this process.

We have this literal picture of Christ as our wounded healer who fell a couple times on the way, who needed help to carry a cross that was heavy, that was hard. We see him and we can look to him through this too. To look at our humanness, our moms humanness.. We have christ to look at as our wounded healer in his humanness.

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