In Christian circles, when we talk about sexual orientation, we’re usually talking about same-sex attractions. This is certainly a sensitive and hot-button topic today so it makes sense. Maybe you’re concerned about a Christian loved one who is experiencing same-sex attraction, or maybe same-sex attraction is something you deal with yourself. Either way, would it help you to know that every time...
We are adrift in a hazy darkness when it comes to human sexuality. Strange wisps of alluring smoke fills our nostrils and colors our eyes. Humanity is drunk with the wine of Babylon and the Spirit of God in the saints groans with longing. “You can’t really expect a single person to abstain from sex. It isn’t natural.” “I’m ashamed about what I’ve been doing, but I can’t imagine never doing...
Too many people who struggle to overcome habitual pornography use believe that marriage will solve their problem. “Once I get married,” the reasoning goes, “I’ll have a God-given way to enjoy sex, so I won’t need porn anymore.” But in nearly every case, those who go into marriage hoping that an ongoing problem with pornography (or other unwanted sexual behaviors) will disappear once they’re...
Have you ever considered how much power people’s eyes have? Seeing is powerful. You’ve probably felt this intuitively at some point in your life when… You wanted someone to look your way, and they did. Or they didn’t. You said or did something embarrassing and wished you were invisible. Everyone else on Zoom had their camera off, so you turned yours off, too. You felt truly seen by a friend...
Early in my recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors in the late ’90s, I remember one piece of advice I received was to wear a rubber band around my wrist and snap it every time I was tempted to lust. It’s actually a practical concept based in Pavlovian research. Through repeatedly ringing a bell just before feeding his dogs, Pavlov’s dogs came to associate the sound of the bell with food, so...
Pause and think with me for a moment. The last time temptation to give into unwanted sexual behaviors stirred for you, did you hear an alarm? (If you don’t struggle with a sexual temptation, the same can apply to other addictive behaviors.) I don’t mean a literal alarm, but for many of us, we experience one of two alarms, sometimes both. The first kind of alarm sounds, “Opportunity! Opportunity!”...