I remember one specific experience trying to pray in college. I had recently given in again to viewing pornography and I was feeling particularly ashamed. God seemed so distant and I had this picture in my head that he was turned away from me, and he had his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face. I’d experienced this before, but that particular day God’s voice broke into what I was...
Search Engine
It happened again today. I found myself mindlessly reaching for my phone. My hand was in my backpack digging for it when I stopped myself—a moment of grace. I’m experiencing this kind of reaching more than I want these days. Checking news in between meetings. Scrolling social media when I’m waiting for someone. Opening emails when I get into my car before I start driving. Checking tomorrow’s...
You Are Dependent…and Loved
Does God want to control or oppress you? Is He, as the serpent tried to convince Eve long ago, holding out on you? In one sense, as a human being you are an individual, a unique part of creation, standing all on your own with no wires attached, no one else pulling the strings. On the other hand, you are, by God’s design, utterly dependent. If you think about it, it can be quite disquieting...
When the Promise Hasn’t Come True
At times in the Christian life it seems God doesn’t come through on His promises. We try hard to obey, we try hard to trust Him, but we still end up with losses that feel too heavy to bear. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of having a happy marriage and a wonderful family. I can’t believe my “happily ever after” ended the way it did. We always thought our son would be a great man for God. It’s...
Get Behind Me
As Christians, we are called to relieve suffering. But we’re not called to relieve all suffering. This is most certainly true when it comes to suffering and sanctification, including when it comes to becoming more relationally, emotionally, and sexually whole. We live in an age that says the sign of a good relationship, romance, or sex is the pleasure it brings. If he/she makes you happy, be with...
Are You Seeing This?
Can you think of a time when you knew you were truly loved? Not in a general sense, but you specifically. When was a time you knew and felt truly loved by another? If everyone were to share a story like this, I’d bet we’d find this common theme arise: Moments when we are truly loved are moments when we are truly seen. What do we do then with the reality that our eyes don’t see well if at all? As...