Unwanted Sexual Behaviors

Unwanted Sexual Behaviors


This ever updated page pulls together our most recent (and archival) library of content that focuses on Unwanted Sexual Behaviors. Below are Scripture, articles, podcasts, and videos that will share God’s heart for our sexuality and the hope we have in Christ for our struggles with lust, porn, masturbation, same-sex attractions and more.

Learn how to stop your unwanted sexual behaviors and live a life of sexual integrity and intimacy with Jesus. 

At the end of this page, you’ll find a list of books, videos, and other content we have on help for Unwanted Sexual Behaviors.

What is the Definition of Lust?

Simple question: When you lust, what are you doing really? 

On a surface level, when you lust you’re checking someone out, letting your eyes linger, or enjoying a little hit of pleasure by viewing a sexy image. 

On a deeper level, when we’re honest, we can define lust like this: Lust is using another person’s body for selfish sexual gratification. 

I like this Definition of Lust, but there is more going on with lust than just this. Lust isn’t like your normal day-to-day sight. It’s a different way of seeing. In fact, lust has a plot twist, and when you realize what it is, it can change everything.

Lust views a person’s physical features to determine how useful he or she is for eliciting sexual pleasure. Lust works to emphasize a person’s sexual features and to de-emphasize everything else.

Lust is a shaded lens portraying a fiction at the expense of the real people performing in it and the real people consuming it. This is why pornographers aim to expose a woman’s body but not her soul. To borrow from one ex-porn actress’s words, in order to profit off of her exposed self, pornographers need to edit out her tears.

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Women Watch Porn Too

Women watch porn too, and we want you to know you aren’t the only one. 

Let’s begin with this truth:

You, a woman, are not alone in your pull to pornography. Statistics back this by revealing that 57% of girls ages 14-18 have viewed pornography.

That means more than half the girls in high-school are watching porn.

60.2% of women view pornography. So you are not alone.

The truth is simple; women watch porn.

Many of us that have gotten caught up in watching porn are not in touch with what’s really going on…what we are really looking for.

I’m hoping the numbers help you relax, and discover you are not alone. There’s something about not being the only one that can peel back a layer of shame.

If you’re a woman who believes in Jesus, I bet this has been hard to accept, BUT you landed here for a reason.

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Gay Christian or Same-Sex Attracted?

Some Christians with same-sex attractions are comfortable referring to themselves as “gay Christians.” Others are vehemently opposed to it. Here’s why this conversation matters.

“I hope you’re not one of those guys who will tell me not to refer to myself as a ‘gay Christian,’” Charlie said when we first sat down in my office. “With all the other concerns facing gay Christians in the church, it’s infuriating that some people make this such a big issue.”

Tess feels differently. Running a ministry of her own, she told me, “I don’t refer to myself as a gay Christian and I never will. It’s much more than a matter of semantics. It shapes my life.”

Both Charlie and Tess hold a traditional position on God’s design for sexuality—that sex is to be reserved for marriage between one man and one woman for life. But they hold opposing views on how they talk about their same-sex orientation.

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Scripture ON Unwanted Sexual Behaviors

  • Romans 8:18-30
  • Luke 15:11-32
  • Romans 5:20
  • John 4:1-30
  • Luke 15:31

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