Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- What is the Definition of Lust?
- Women Watch Porn Too
- Gay Christian or Same-Sex Attracted?
- Scripture that points to Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- Recommended Books on Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- Recommended Videos on Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- All Articles on Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
This ever updated page pulls together our most recent (and archival) library of content that focuses on Unwanted Sexual Behaviors. Below are Scripture, articles, podcasts, and videos that will share God’s heart for our sexuality and the hope we have in Christ for our struggles with lust, porn, masturbation, same-sex attractions and more.
Learn how to stop your unwanted sexual behaviors and live a life of sexual integrity and intimacy with Jesus.
At the end of this page, you’ll find a list of books, videos, and other content we have on help for Unwanted Sexual Behaviors.
What is the Definition of Lust?
Simple question: When you lust, what are you doing really?
On a surface level, when you lust you’re checking someone out, letting your eyes linger, or enjoying a little hit of pleasure by viewing a sexy image.
On a deeper level, when we’re honest, we can define lust like this: Lust is using another person’s body for selfish sexual gratification.
I like this Definition of Lust, but there is more going on with lust than just this. Lust isn’t like your normal day-to-day sight. It’s a different way of seeing. In fact, lust has a plot twist, and when you realize what it is, it can change everything.
Lust views a person’s physical features to determine how useful he or she is for eliciting sexual pleasure. Lust works to emphasize a person’s sexual features and to de-emphasize everything else.
Lust is a shaded lens portraying a fiction at the expense of the real people performing in it and the real people consuming it. This is why pornographers aim to expose a woman’s body but not her soul. To borrow from one ex-porn actress’s words, in order to profit off of her exposed self, pornographers need to edit out her tears.
Women Watch Porn Too
Women watch porn too, and we want you to know you aren’t the only one.
Let’s begin with this truth:
You, a woman, are not alone in your pull to pornography. Statistics back this by revealing that 57% of girls ages 14-18 have viewed pornography.
That means more than half the girls in high-school are watching porn.
60.2% of women view pornography. So you are not alone.
The truth is simple; women watch porn.
Many of us that have gotten caught up in watching porn are not in touch with what’s really going on…what we are really looking for.
I’m hoping the numbers help you relax, and discover you are not alone. There’s something about not being the only one that can peel back a layer of shame.
If you’re a woman who believes in Jesus, I bet this has been hard to accept, BUT you landed here for a reason.
Gay Christian or Same-Sex Attracted?
Some Christians with same-sex attractions are comfortable referring to themselves as “gay Christians.” Others are vehemently opposed to it. Here’s why this conversation matters.
“I hope you’re not one of those guys who will tell me not to refer to myself as a ‘gay Christian,’” Charlie said when we first sat down in my office. “With all the other concerns facing gay Christians in the church, it’s infuriating that some people make this such a big issue.”
Tess feels differently. Running a ministry of her own, she told me, “I don’t refer to myself as a gay Christian and I never will. It’s much more than a matter of semantics. It shapes my life.”
Both Charlie and Tess hold a traditional position on God’s design for sexuality—that sex is to be reserved for marriage between one man and one woman for life. But they hold opposing views on how they talk about their same-sex orientation.
Scripture ON Unwanted Sexual Behaviors
- Romans 8:18-30
- Luke 15:11-32
- Romans 5:20
- John 4:1-30
- Luke 15:31
- Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer
- Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud
- Unbound: A Practical Guide to Deliverance by Neal Lozano
- Overcoming Shame: Let Go of Others’ Expectations and Embrace God’s Acceptance by Mark W. Baker
- The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson M.D.
- A Gospel Primer for Christians by Milton Vincent
- Victory over Darkness by Neil Anderson
- A Still & Quiet Mind by Esther Smith
- Sacred Rest by Saundra Dalton-Smith M.D.
- The Meaning of Marriage by Tim & Kathy Keller
- Cherish by Gary Thomas
- Every Good Endeavor by Tim Keller
- Design Your Life by Burnett & Evans
- Before and After: The Transformative Power of Jesus’ compassion
- Engage Your Story
- From Lustful Gaze to Awe and Reverence
- A Path to Wholeness: Overcoming the Grip of Pornography
- Embracing Imperfections & Deepening Connections in Marriage
- Walking through the Minefield of Modern Conversations on Sexuality and Marriage
- Boundaries 101
- Do I Need to Look at My Past?
- When You Lack Desire for Your Spouse
- Your Imagination Is Better Than Porn
- Women Watch Porn Too
- 3 Quick and Easy Mental Shifts to Help You Grow
- What Do I Do With This Body?
- Stop Trying to Stop Lusting
- The Definition of Lust
- The Cycle of Addiction
- Exposing the Online God
- Shutting Down Temptation
- Walk Don’t Run When Sexually Aroused
- Are you Distracted?
- Breaking the Link Between Self-Preservation and Sexual Sin
- Using Your Imagination for Fantasy or Faith
- The Why Behind the What
- Emotional Health and Sexuality
- When Your Wife Asks Do You Think I’m Pretty?