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If Porn Were a Sex-Ed Teacher

If you could have chosen your own sex-ed teacher when you were a kid, who would you have picked?

Many kids and young adults today are choosing pornography.

We all look online when we have questions. Whether asking Alexa what tomorrow’s weather forecast is, Waze how to get into the city without paying tolls, or Siri how to spell kalbasa kilbasa keilbasa kielbasa, our devices offer us easy access to a wealth of information.

Throughout all of history, most kids have reached a point when they’re curious about sex. This is normal and good. But today, too many kids are taking their curiosity online. Not only can they find answers quickly, Google also won’t embarrass, interrogate, or lecture them for asking. Instead, it will call up endless articles, pictures, and yes, pornography to show them. What’s more, some teens believe porn is a good place to learn about sex because porn stars “obviously” know what they’re doing.

Friends, don’t let porn serve as one of your kid’s sex educators. Not only is porn not qualified to teach about sex, it blatantly distorts sex to be something much worse than what God designed.

Here’s what I mean… (Warning: Disturbing Content to Follow)

If porn were a sex-ed teacher, here are 10 (categorically false) lessons you’d overhear in its classroom: 

  1. ” Everybody wants sex all the time.”
  2. “You don’t have to love, like, or even know a person to have sex with them. Risky sex with strangers is fun and fulfilling.”
  3. “Forget marriage, honor, faithfulness, self-control, emotional connection, and family; these things make sex stale.”
  4. “Having lots of sexual partners will make you better in bed, and that will make you more desirable.”
  5. “If someone doesn’t please you sexually, leave them and find someone else who does.”
  6. “You don’t have to worry about negative consequences like STI’s, broken hearts, wounded bodies, or out-of-wedlock pregnancies.”
  7. “Violence is sexy.”
  8. “Guys, the more confident, controlling, aggressive, and violent you are, the more a girl will enjoy sex with you. If a girl doesn’t want sex and you force her, she’ll eventually enjoy it.”
  9. “Girls, the more you like to be hit and choked, the more a guy will want you.”
  10. “Porn stars are healthy, happy, sexually-liberated, ‘sex positive’ people who make a lot of money and have the best sex in the world.”

(It’s difficult for me even to write some of these because they’re so ugly!)

Porn is no respecter of people. Porn is a liar and an abuser. And porn is a horrible sex educator.

In contrast, Christianity teaches that every human person (body and soul) is worthy of honor and dignity, and sex is a good, beautiful, and powerful treasure from God worth stewarding withing marriage with great care and attention.

If you or your kids have been hurt by porn, Jesus is not disgusted with you. He comes near to help you, to wash you clean, to open your eyes anew, and to heal your wounds. On the cross, Christ’s body—pure and priceless above all treasure—was given naked, beaten, bleeding, and debased. For you, for me. And in His resurrection, Christ’s body was raised to new life, holy and pure, eternally alive in order to restore the treasure He created your body to be.

And parents, make sexual discipleship a regular part of your relationships with your kids as they grow. (Regeneration’s new resource, Reframing Desire: Parenting Sexuality, will help you tremendously. And if you can’t afford it, we’ll give you full access for free!)

Question: What other lies does pornography (or a pornographic culture) teach about sex, gender, marriage, men, women, or desire? Leave a comment below.

For you,
Josh

8 thoughts on “If Porn Were a Sex-Ed Teacher”

  1. 1. The gender of the people you have sex with is irrelevant; if both people enjoy it, what’s the problem?
    2. If it feels good to you, do it. If you are enjoying the sex, the other person must also be enjoying the sex.

  2. Great topic Josh! As a Believer, knowing that I couldn’t have sex until marriage was a huge battle in the beginning.The lie that you need porn and sex or your not normal was a lie I believed for years.By the grace of God! You won’t die but certainly will be frustrated at times for sure.Not having sex since 1992 is a complete miracle on God’s part.The more God becomes my greatest treasure porn is a fading memory.Still tempted at times though.Thanks again Josh.

    1. Beautifully said, Paul. Thank you. Not sure, but you may be encouraged to know that Athanasius pointed to Christians’ ability to remain chaste as proof of the reality of Jesus’ incarnation and bodily resurrection. So, if he were writing his defense today, he may not have been able to point to that with the same confidence he did in the 4th century, but he could point to YOU. Thank you, brother, for the journey you’re on!

    1. Good one, Gary. Thank you for bringing this up! I’ve heard from both men and women about how damaging it has been to view porn and believe they have to look (and act) like porn stars to be a “real” man or woman. God bless you, brother.

  3. Rocco Sifreddi is one of the most famous stars in the adult film business and claims to have had sex with more than 4,000 women. He is on record for saying that “sex with love is something completely different.- it is just on a whole different level.”. The fact is, that sex is the most intimate human action possible. Therefore it is special. However, if you have done it with numerous people, how special can it still be? Moreover what if one day you meet someone whom you really love? How are you going to give them something special if you have already given the most special thing to so many other people? I suspect many pornstars feel like pressed out oranges with only the peel left, waiting eventually to be thrown away.

  4. his an interesting topic to contribute positivly in order to improve on health standard .sex his a body exercise that keep the body fit and mind rest it has a product which his child bearing beside the health .it all contribut to our body fitness and health .but it shall done with sense of maturity avoid onvwanted pregnancy .it his fun and enjoyable when done with a mature partner it his sight of maturity

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