Break through: What lies are keeping you from healing?

Andrea Smithberger [00:00:00]:

Satan’s a real jerk, right? But he doesn’t have the final word. We’ve talked here about how he likes to isolate us, to tempt us. But the work he does over the long term with the things we don’t share with anyone, the things we’re told not to share with anyone, that’s just yuck for me. The sexual abuse I experienced as a little girl, I held it to myself for decades. And in that time he wrapped me tight in lies. I thought I caused the abuse. I believed it was my fault. Little Andrea.

Andrea Smithberger [00:00:37]:

Three years old. Until just a few years ago, I believed that I got used to those binding lies they squeezed around my body image. Those beliefs shaped my heart for myself, around the safety of men. Those beliefs led to coping mechanisms that oozed out into so many different habits, so many layers, so many years. All the while, I knew God. I believed in Him even as a little girl. But those beliefs had wrapped around me. I kept them separate.

Andrea Smithberger [00:01:11]:

I kept me separate for 40 plus years, all the while going to church, doing devotionals, attending small groups. I love God and believe in him. But I believed also that showing up was all he wanted from someone like me. That’s an issue. Why did I do that? Why wouldn’t I bring all of me to Him? Is there something that you’re believing that’s got you bound in lies and in shame? Are you willing to bring all of you to Him? This episode isn’t meant to convince you of anything, but just to consider this as an opportunity to explore your beliefs with raw honesty. So let’s read from the passage in Mark Five. And a woman who was there had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had.

Andrea Smithberger [00:02:12]:

Yet instead of getting better, she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, I just touch his clothes, I’ll be healed immediately. Her bleeding stopped, and she felt it in her body that she was freed from her suffering at once. Jesus realized that power had gone out from him, and he turned around and asked, who touched my clothes? You see people crowding against you, his disciples answered. And yet you can ask who touched me but Jesus? But Jesus kept looking. He kept looking around to see who had done it. Then the woman, knowing what had happened, came, fell at his feet, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. The whole truth.

Andrea Smithberger [00:03:16]:

And he said to her what? What did he say to her? How many times have you heard this story, this encounter with Jesus? I see me in the bleeding, woman. I see you in the bleeding, woman. Your issue isn’t bleeding, though. But you know how she feels. Your issue can make loneliness a companion, can make you feel cast aside. Do you feel like the woman who has befriended shame because it’s persistent, predictable company? You’ve been bleeding, you’ve tried everything. You’ve been cast aside, and here you are. Here I am.

Andrea Smithberger [00:04:01]:

We believe in Jesus. Whether we’ve heard about Him our whole lives or he’s the last resort. We’ve considered, what if it’s true? And so we gather up our courage, just like the bleeding woman, but just to come up behind Him, just enough to reach out. But Jesus, yes, he healed her, and he wants to heal you. But I wonder if you, like the Hemorrhaging woman, have gone to enough people, hoping for encouragement or answers, and you got burned, turned away. How many times have we approached Jesus for healing or help with our heads bowed, trying just to sneak in behind Him. Just enough of us, but not all of us. Why do we do that? Why do you do that? What are you anticipating? Let’s dig in here, because it’s worth saying out loud, you might have gone to a pastor, a parent, a friend, only to hear things like, what will people think of you? What’s wrong with you? Or get over it.

Andrea Smithberger [00:05:21]:

Or can you imagine what people would say if they knew? Or don’t tell anyone else. When you consider who has said these things to you, people you love and you trust, it makes sense that you wouldn’t want to face Jesus. You love and trust him. But he is Jesus. So what would he say? What did he say? Let’s go back to the Gospel and imagine now that you are the woman, bound up in layers, hiding your issue, holding on to what you’ve been told. You trust Jesus to heal you, but you don’t want Him to see you. And you get closer and you reach out, and then you’re completely free healed. You know it.

Andrea Smithberger [00:06:14]:

Jesus knows it. That’s not enough for him. It wasn’t enough for Jesus to just heal her. He wanted to lay eyes on her. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to be the first to say daughter, to welcome her back into a family. He sees all the layers. He heals all the layers.

Andrea Smithberger [00:06:41]:

He wants to see you. All of you. Jesus lived this story so many years ago for you right now. Matthew and Mark and Luke all included this detail that Jesus turned around. Scripture tells us to approach the throne boldly so he can break through the wounding of words and beliefs that you’ve held onto for so long. Scripture tells us Jesus understands our temptations because he was tempted too. Jesus turns around to set you free from those words of shame and condemnation. He turns to say, Daughter, can you trust Him to see you? Can you trust Him to speak to you? Scripture tells us God is searching for hearts, searching for his.

Andrea Smithberger [00:07:39]:

Jesus turns around. He turns around to offer you the care and comfort and connection that you’re looking for. And if you’re here, you know it can’t be found in porn or masturbating or random sex with whoever. The care and comfort and connection that you’ve been searching for has been instilled in you. It’s part of you. He has that on his heart too. For you. For every bit of you.

Andrea Smithberger [00:08:13]:

This is heavy. I know it. So let’s wrap this up with a physical exercise, because I’m guessing that your heart’s stirring. So get yourself into the posture of the woman at the start of the story. She’s sneaking in through the crowd. Make yourself small. She’s pushing through and reaching out her hand. Can you feel how tight she is, even in her hope? Get into that posture.

Andrea Smithberger [00:08:40]:

Bent out of shape and tight. Maybe you’re even holding your breath. Release it. Now let’s imagine what healing was like. Remember, Mark tells us that Jesus felt the power go out of him, and she felt in her body that she was free. They both felt it. I love that. Doesn’t this feel like an upright? Like even your eyebrows chewed up? What is this feeling? What does this posture look like? Maybe it’s both hands out, open handed.

Andrea Smithberger [00:09:16]:

Now touch your stomach. Touch your heart. Touch your head. It’s different. Hey. As you stretch it out and let your body experience the difference, words or beliefs might come up for you as things that you’ve been holding back. Write them down. Consider bringing them all to Jesus.

Andrea Smithberger [00:09:37]:

All of it. All of you. He’s turned around and he’s looking for you. He’s praying for you. And so are we. If it feels like you could use some extra help, consider meeting with one of our spiritual coaches. We’re here for.