What Are You Talking About?
We have a fundamental problem in our public discourse regarding homosexuality. We’re talking about different things.
Against or For?
It seems it’s difficult these days to say anything challenging gay marriage without being looked as a bigot, a religious zealot, or a hater. In response, many have gotten quiet. But I can’t. Not so much because I’m opposed to gay marriage (though I am), but because I love homosexual men and women. For the …
A Change in Orientation
Everyone’s “sexual orientation” was damaged in the fall. And so, a change in sexual orientation is something everyone needs. In God’s original design, sexuality included things like: nakedness free of shame and fear, honor and dignity given and received, ability to steward sexual desire rather than be ruled by it, unquenchable fidelity between husband …
You Can Change (And You’re a Rubik’s Cube)
Is real change possible? This is a question we get a lot in one form or another. Once a sex addict, always a sex addict, right? He cheated on me, will my husband ever really be trustworthy? Can homosexual men and women really change? I’ve wrestled with __________ for so long, is there any hope for me? Another …
Crucifying Chronic Uniqueness
I have a confession to make. Over the past decade, I’ve listened to hundreds of homosexually attracted men and women share about their unique struggles, and how different—even ostracized—they feel from others because of this unique problem. Although I initially came to Regeneration to receive help in overcoming heterosexual sexual addiction, I’ve decided it’s time …
The Will to Believe, the Will to Feel
Five years ago I wrote an article for Regeneration entitled “Our Secret Weapon: The Will” (May 2004). In the years following, I have become even more convinced that our will is magnificent but grossly undervalued gift in our battle to become more and more Christ-like. In the article I stressed how in a feeling, materialistic …
Peter’s Testimony
What follows is a part of my life’s story. Its importance lies in it’s primal aspect and God’s will to redeem it. Although there are other parts of my 43 year (and counting) story, none has yet been so instrumental in showing the significance of the whole or in imparting integrity to the man that …
The Journey through Lesbianism
Where are we headed on the journey through lesbianism? You might be surprised (or relieved) that it is not automatically to marriage, a family, and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence! Rather, we are headed in the same direction as every other Christian – towards Jesus Christ! Our journey is to …
The Blessings of Temptation
Temptation, testing, trials—three T’s—are all quite closely related. Each involves going through a difficult experience that may have a good or a bad outcome. We all face them—perhaps Christians more than others—and it is probably safe to say we wish they weren’t a part of our lives. In fact, we ask God to “lead us …
When Is It Sin?
Tom comes from a homosexual past. It has been years since he has engaged in any homosexual activity or has even thought he would want to. He is married and has a sexual relationship with his wife that brings them both great joy. And Tom is quite content with his manhood. He no longer feels …
Involuntary Responses
Your eyes catch hold of something or someone, or a thought suddenly comes into your mind, seemingly out of nowhere, and you feel your body start to respond sexually. Immediately your heart and mind start to flail around, thrusting the old familiar feelings of guilt and shame and hopelessness at you. Here I go again. …
When is Recovery Over?
Several years ago a healing conference was being held in a nearby state, and most of the Regeneration staff planned to attend. When a staff member asked if I was going to be there, I replied, “No, I don’t need healing.” Admittedly, I was being a bit facetious. I knew that my response appeared somewhat …
Accountability: Not an Option
Accountability is a topic which I feel is often misunderstood. For those who struggle with sexual and relational brokenness (sin), accountability is a necessity and not an option. Throughout Scripture, there are many examples of accountability. The Lord had His prophets hold His people accountable. There are several examples stated where Paul and the apostles …
Is Anyone Ever Totally Healed?
Many, many times I have heard this question, “Is anyone ever totally healed from homosexuality?” Generally it comes from friendly sources, not from those who oppose what we do. Typically, it comes from someone who himself or herself is struggling with homosexuality, and has not achieved the level of healing or growth that he or …
What Do You Seek?
When I first came to Regeneration 10 years ago, I was interested in one thing: Getting rid of my sexual sin. God was interested in something else. Yes, He wanted to lead me to sexual purity, but He also had in mind addressing areas of my life fundamentally much more important than just stopping sin. …
Emotional Longing in Men
We have long recognized that the homosexual drive is not, at its root, sexual. The drive gains its direction and power from certain things inside a person, in many cases unmet needs or fears. Not always, but most often, in men it is an unmet need or a deficit, and in women, it is a …
A Condition Rooted in Fear
Fear is a key factor in the development of both male and female homosexuality. It follows then that overcoming fear is a key factor in gaining freedom from homosexuality. Specifically, the fear found so often in the male homosexual condition is the fear of being a man, and the fear found so often in the …
The Prison of Self-Protection
“They can’t hurt me. Nobody can hurt me.” I don’t know how old I was when I spoke those words to myself—maybe five or six—but they were powerful words, ones that would guide my life for the next thirty years. Partly reacting to my father’s ongoing battle with deep depression, I spoke those words one …
Our Secret Weapon: The Will
Some years ago at a conference, my wife, Willa, was addressing a group of wives whose husbands were dealing with homosexuality. She was discussing all of the wrong things that wives in their situation are prone to do: enabling, denial, co-dependency, protecting their husbands from the consequences of their sin, and so forth. She could …
Called to Strive
Striving! The word does not have a pleasant connotation. It brings to my mind several other words that convey equally unattractive concepts: stress, strain, struggle. For the Christian, the concept seems to belong to the realm of law rather than to that of grace, and it is grace to which we are called. In worldly …