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Why I Didn’t Want to March, and Why I Did Anyway

Last week, the Supreme Court heard arguments for two monumental cases regarding the future of marriage in our country. The court could

rule in several ways, but ultimately, what they decide could clear the way for same-sex marriage to become the law of the land across the U.S.

With so much at stake, people from both sides of this debate showed up in D.C. last week.

I was invited by two dear friends to join them last Tuesday for the “March for Marriage” in D.C. in support of marriage as a union between a man and woman only.

I didn’t want to go.

I hate the anger, the failure on both sides to truly see and hear one another, but mostly, I hate the accusations that are thrown at those who support heterosexual marriage and oppose same-sex marriage.

I don’t like to be called stupid, a religious zealot, or a “homophobe.” I don’t like being accused of discrimination or regarded as one contributing to a culture of bullying and violence against gay and lesbian people.

I’m not any of these things.

On the flip side, I also don’t like to be associated with some of what I see on the “traditional marriage side.” People who shake their heads in disgust, who yell “Jesus is the answer!” or worse yet, who hold vitriolic signs and yell hatefully at those in favor of gay marriage.

I’m not these either.

So, I didn’t want to go. Like many others, I felt like neither side would represent me.

But I did join the march.

Why? For a few reasons:

First, as I prayed about it (including arguing with God—It’s just not me!), I sensed this is what he wanted of me: not to hold a sign, not to shout, not to look past people; but simply to walk, to pray, and to be as present as I could.

Second, I realized that not wanting to be associated with less-than-loving voices is what keeps many loving people from standing up for what they believe is in the best interest of all in relation to marriage. And this means more loving, good, and sound voices are needed, not less.

(I should also add, there were so many peaceable, loving, and reasonable voices walking in this march, and I’m grateful for them.)

And finally, I recognized I was tempted to cower because of what people would think of me. When I stripped this away, I saw afresh simply that marriage as God designed it is vitally important, and worth standing up for wherever God’s design for marriage between a man and woman is threatened—whether by same-sex marriage, sex outside of marriage, divorce, adultery, pornography, or myriad other distortions that, at the end of the day, really just put the happiness of adults before the best interest of children.

It’s time more disciples of Jesus simply let others know God’s heart for marriage.

Lovingly,

Josh

2 thoughts on “Why I Didn’t Want to March, and Why I Did Anyway”

  1. Wow! What a great way to express the challenges we face, as believers, in our culture. I think we really need to take this approach to heart, as represents a practical expression of “speaking the truth in love” and how difficult this can be. I believe the heat is only going to be turned up, and we have to engage with God in real ways to learn to walk carefully and courageously in such an environment. We have an opportunity to shine (perhaps to give Jesus a black eye).

  2. Josh, thank you for going to the march. I too would have a hard time going- and i have a hard time stating how i feel about it just for the same reasons you stated.. Also because my son is gay, considering marriage to his boyfriend, anything I say that is not supportive of ‘equality’ is taken by him as I don’t love him. I feel like I am walking a tightrope at times. I dont think I am like those groups of people you described, but they are often so defensive or brainwashed- or ‘something’ that no matter what I say or do that isnt marked with complete enthusiasm is taken wrong. I love both of them.

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